Thoughts Of Me, Sorry.

the new beginning

I am sorry for what I did to you. The heat of your body kept me warm at night. While my toes and nose were far enough that the torch flame could not reach. The air thickened in a blanket made of lead pressing me farther into the bed and caged me in the cloud of lust. I hardly could breathe while you lay silently asleep beside me. I'm sorry I did that to you.

And another. And you know and will understand like no other. I am sorry for what I did to you. As you gave me nothing but your bare heart. And stood there with arms wide open. And I had the urge to flee because every time I was close to someone, I only knew them to leave. You only pushed for greatness and I stompted on your heart and turned my back to your tiring arms. As you stood there fighting your agony, I kicked dirt in your eyes. I'm sorry for all the lies. And im sorry for what I did to you. Like no other. And I'm sorry for all of it. Because your the worlds best mother.

And for the one who everyone doesnt take another glance at. The one who everyone thinks is worth nothing. I am sorry for what I did to you. As they all turned their heads. I saw the way your eyes lit up with something. All I wanted to do was help. I gave you a burden it was all at the wrong time. You couldnt take the time or devote the energy, and it may only get worse. As that is not the only mistake ive made. I'm sorry for detrimenting the well being of everything. I am sorry for what I did to you

And you, who grew up right before my eyes but my focus was somewhere elsewhere. I am sorry for what I did to you. As you grew up I should have taken pride of being your super hero. And instead all I did was fail as your role model. You are worth more than that and I'm sorry for being such a fucker. I'm sorry for what I did for you. When all I should have done was be a good big brother.

And you. With the flaming red hair. That has not only captured my heart but picked me up when things held me down. I am sorry for what I did to you. As you gave me your pocket I gave you my flare. As if our hearts were mended but our heads were sowed elsewhere. You lifted me up and I let you drown. I am sorry for what I did to you. And I'm glad someone else has your crown.

And sorry to all of those people that I let my mind go wild and kept my heart confined. As if madness overtook me. And made me come free. I was going through doors that when opened locked others behind. As the key to all of your freedom was pollished into one Grand wand. That blindfolded me and led me by sound. While mistaking crying for needing help. And infact I was unconsciously feeding the poison into the ground we rooted in. I am sorry for what I did to all of you. But it could be different this time around.