Chapter 21 let's play a game

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Two weeks had passed and I still haven't gotten over the shock of what Ben did to Evan.

I knew everyone kept telling me to ' forgive and forget ' but how were you supposed to forget such a thing when you're due any day now and that the father of your child could possibly be someone as vain and wicked as Ben ?

It was really taking a toll on me , realizing the person you once loved and still did up until now , could turn out to be such a monster.

But then again , by the words of my late , divorced aunt , ' people are not who they appear to be Andy .'

I've never understood her words. I always thought she was referring to my uncle Jeff who cheated on her for years and didn't tell her. But now , I knew what she meant . And why she meant it.

Yet , there were exceptions to every rule. In this case , it was Evan .

He was exactly who he said he was and I wouldn't doubt him for a second. Never.

I felt as if I could tell him anything. My most deepest of secrets , my inner most heart desires and even , my fears .

I would trust him with my life. And I do.

I've eventually asked him about Mackenzie to which he just said he didn't know anyone named Mackenzie besides his mother, to who he was very close with before the plague hit.

He said that he felt so helpless to see her like that and to not be able to do anything, that's why he went into military.

It started as a way to get a cure, a solution , until it was too late for her. By then he was already so deep into the military that it would cause suspicion if he suddenly withdrew . So he sticked around , and here we were.

I felt so bad for him when I watched him talk about her. You could see that he really loved and idolized her and thought the world of her. She was a wonderful mother , just like mine and I missed her just as much , especially now , at this time in my life.

She would never be able to see , hold or even meet my baby girl or give me advice on do's and dont's like most overbearing grandparents would. Though, my mom would do it out of love and care and not to prove me how wrong I was like the others would .

"You ready to go Andy? " Emma said as she peeked from behind the door .

"Yeah Em , let me just grab my jacket . "

"Sure."

We then walked down to the caterpillar room - it's where they held all the baby related meetings and sessions- as I took my usual spot between Piper and Julia . I met Julia a few weeks back at one of these sessions and we immediately clicked.

I waved Emma off as the lady leading the sessions took a seat at the head of the circle.

"Hi Ladies , welcome back to this week's session. Tonight we will discuss the personality and most importantly , the identity of your baby to be ."

A girl across from me immediatly reached her hand up ; "but miss , why would it matter if we won't be able to keep them ? "

"Good question Lily . You see , even though you won't be able to keep them , giving them a name eventually ties them back to you. Because you - their mother - chose that name for them for a reason and had a say in the person they are going to be one day. It might not mean a lot to a lot of people but it's all we as mother's have control over and no one can change that . You , have the last say . We , have the last say. "

The whole room fell quite as we took in the wise words she was saying. I've never thought of it that way and that's mainly why I've settled on calling baby girl just A or C or some other random letter , because why bother?

But now , I may be considering giving her a name. Something unique and special , tying her back to me . Something I could give her , other than life of course.

"Now I will pass some papers around the group and I want you all to take some time to think about what you want to call your baby. When you've thought about it enough and you're sure , I want you to write it down on the paper , fold it closed and put it into the basket. This will give you some time to think and invison your baby , to spend time to think about them in every intrequite little detail and to make a descion. But most importantly, to be in control. "

As the paper made it's way around the group each person took a piece of Pink or Blue card - depending on the baby's gender - as the room fell silent.

You could almost hear the wheels turning in everyone's head, see the smoke coming from their ears . See the tears falling from their eyes as they were in thought.

It felt amazing to have this much control over something. I missed it.

I closed my eyes as I thought about baby girl. What she would look like, what kind of personality she would have . Would she be tall or short? An athlete or musician? Have long lushes locks like I do or short , straight hair? Would she be funny or playful ? Have Blue , green or brown eyes ? What would her talents be ?

A tear fell from my eyes as I started to envision my mom playing with her. Them playing tag in our backyard , my mom hiding behind my dollhouse as baby girl came from behind and tagged my mom. Them laughing out of their stomachs as my dad trotted about the yard in the dinosaur suit I used to love him wearing when I was little .

I blinked away the tears as I looked up , seeing it was just me and the lady at front left in the room.

"You found a name yet Sweetie? " she asked as I looked down at the blank paper in my lap.

I looked up , meeting her gaze as I nod , writing down the name and putting the paper neatly into the basket.

What did you think !? I know it's not my usual style but I kind of love how this chapter turned out. Leave me your thoughts in the comment section below. Along with some baby name suggestions. Unitl next time my Lovelies ❤❤❤❤

Ps : That's Julia up above 😏

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