𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐁𝐔𝐃𝐃𝐘. ✓

📖06📖

dead buddy,

are you ready for sad hours with j̸u̸n̸g̸k̸o̸o̸k̸ me? 

it's late and i'm just feeling meh, i guess we know it all don't we?

well, today was a good day actually. today i did something i truly love (and it was not starring at taehyung).

ice skating!

that's one of the reasons why i truly love spring, it's not too cold, not too warm, just perfect for ice skating. i learned ice skating when i was really young, my mom and my dad always wanted me to do it because they met while ice skating. funny, isn't it?

today was the first time in years i could finally do it again and the first moment i laid my feet on the ice it felt really different, it suddenly felt like i didn't know how to do it anymore.

the ice was slowly melting, water rested on the surface, the beautiful lights reflecting in it.

it wasn't like i lost the flow to it, i think it was more because i was scared of falling.

i tried my best to not lose my balance, showing all my body control skills while i slowly started gliding across the ice, the sharp blade under my shoe marking the mirror-like ice.

i loved the feeling when i just closed my eyes, a light but ice-cold breeze hitting my face, tossing my hair in all possible directions but i didn't care about it, i just relaxed my body, not paying attention to anything.

i wouldn't have cared if someone would have accidentally bumped into
me, i wouldn't have cared if i suddenly lost balance and fell to the ground, i just wanted to feel so careless, like i felt when i was a little kid.

as little kid, i just threw myself on the ice, not caring if i would fall because i knew that it would only hurt for a few minutes (or hours, or weeks, or moths but i didn't care either way) all i wanted was to have fun, to feel happy.

now that i'm older, i start overthinking too many things, i always fear that i fall (not only in ice skating).

so buddy, why do we overthink so much?

we lived happily as kids, right? then why don't we just give a shit and do whatever we want?

why do you think that it was so easy to make friends as young kids? because we could just be ourselves and now we need to fake our personalities to get everyone to like us. and what happens if we don't? we get called weird, nobody talks to us and we're alone.

what do you think, buddy? do you think that our lives would be easier if we would be like we were when we were little kids?

as little kids, we liked someone really much. we didn't label it, we just liked someone and there was nothing wrong with that, just young love.

so why is it wrong now? we're still the same people, it's still the same
love, we're just grown up. but why is it wrong now?