It's Valentine's Day, Spider-Hubby! [Spideypool]

✿ 𝓈𝒶𝓉𝓊𝓇𝒹𝒶𝓎 ✿

Peter isn't a secretive guy.

Okay, well maybe he is, but he's not particularly good at it. May, MJ, Ned, and Harry all found out he was Spider-Man before he ever got the chance to tell them. He had worked with Daredevil once and the guy noticed his heartbeat on the street, because unexpectedly he's a blind lawyer and Peter had happened to walk by his firm. He'd even told Deadpool after 2 years of team-ups because the merc had been paid to kill Peter Parker.

Okay, so Peter is secretive, kinda, but it just never seems to really work out.

He's 27 and in a week, he will have been a part of the Avengers initiative (officially) for 5 years. And he's proud to say that none of them know who he is, but he knows it's only because he works for Mr. Stark and it's hard to match goofy Peter Parker with the cool Spider-Man and he doesn't mind it.

He's even made a habit of hanging out with the some of the Avengers (in costume) when they aren't all working. Currently he's made a game out of throwing webbed objects at Thor to watch him hit them with his hammer, when Tony walks in he has to dodge Thor's hammer only to be hit in the face with a newspaper ball covered in webbing. He heaves a deep sigh but doesn't say anything.

Peter thinks maybe he's the only one who's figured it out. He's been working at Stark Industries since he was 15, after he got bit by that goddamn spider over at Oscorp. Tony has a bit of a soft spot for him and it extends to his wall-climbing alter ego. He doesn't know how he feels about being so easy to detect.

"Sorry, Tony," Spiderman says, because only Peter calls him Mr.Stark.

"No problem, kid."

Peter knows it's a term of endearment, but something about it makes him huff a breath anyway. He's not a kid, hasn't been for a while now.

"What's wrong, Stark," Thor says turning when Tony comes further into the room only to flop onto the couch with his hands in his hair. He's tossing Mjolnir from hand to hand, staring down at the other man perplexed.

"Yeah, we're your team. Whatever's going on, we're here to help," Cap says from the table, devouring a double decker sandwich.

"Valentines day is coming up and—" Tony begins before he pops up and turns to look at Hawkeye in the kitchenette, nursing a cup of coffee. "You're married, aren't you, Legolas?"

"Last I checked," he responds, narrowing his eyes but shrugging.

"How're the kids?"

"What d'you want, Tony?"

"I proposed to Pep last year, but we aren't getting married til Christmas. She wants a winter wedding. But Valentines day is coming up and I want to do something special for her but I'm at a complete loss for what to do. What's more special than an engagement?" He tilts his head back against the couch. Closing his eyes and rubbing a hand down his face.

"Well you could always have a night in?" Peter supplies from beneath the mask, because Spiderman isn't the mushy romantic type. "Get her some flowers and watch some movies. Cook dinner. You said your mother taught you how to make homemade pasta when you were younger, so you could do that. Just show her you care."

The room is quiet for a moment as Tony stares at him blinking slowly, then Clint snorts.

"Since you're askin', I usually just leave the kids with Nat and take Laura out some place nice. Buy her something pretty that catches her eye."

"You know what, Barton, you're right. Pep did like that dress I bought her for her birthday. I can just take her out, have her pick something."

"That's a terrible idea," Peter says.

"So what do you usually do for your girlfriend, Underoos?" Tony asks, and it's almost as if he really wants to know.

"I don't have a girlfriend," Peter says. Because he doesn't. He has a husband. Who is goofy and loud and annoying, but still a damn romantic. He likes to think they're the masters of romance out of the suits, but he doesn't tell them that. He can't.

"Wife?" Stark says with his eyebrows raised in surprise.

"No, but-" Peter stops as his phone starts ringing. The tune is loud and obnoxious and he can't quite think of where he's heard it before, but then he's sighing into the receiver. "Hey, DP...Yes. Maybe. No, you can't unalive the kid for running over your foot with his skateboard. Are you drunk? Where the fu- Don't move, I'm on the way." Peter sighs again as he hangs up the phone. "I have to go, Deadpool is in need of a moral compass. Again."

Once he flings himself from the window, Tony turns back to Clint and Steve, but Sam is in the corner shaking his head.

"Should I make reservations for an early dinner or a late dinner?" Tony asks just as Sam opens his own mouth.

"Did Spiderboy almost say fuck?"

-§-

"What the fuck, Wade?" Peter says, pulling his mask off as he stomps into their apartment, his husband pouting behind him.

"The world is spinning, baby boy, don't walk away from me." Wade says, his own mask still in place even if his suit is torn to shreds and covered in blood.

"Stop drinking with Weasel," Peter says like he does every time this happens, still walking away. "You'll be fine in a few minutes."

They've been married for 8 years, together for almost a whole decade and this happens at least once a month.

"What if I'm not! What if this is the time the alcohol poisoning finally ends me? The final death!" Wade has come further into the apartment, the door closed and locked behind him. He follows Peter into their bedroom and wraps his arms around his waist, whining. "Take care of me, Petey."

"Go shower, Wade."

"This feels a lot more like Avengers aimed anger," Wade says, but he does let go and move into the adjoining bathroom. "Tell Dr. Deadpool all about it."

"I just forget that we haven't worked together that long and they don't know much more about Spider-Man besides the fact that he's helpful in a fight."

"You're helpful with a lot of other things too, babe," Wade says, peeking his head out of the bathroom and wiggling his hairless eyebrows, his mask long forgotten in the laundry.

"Shut up, Perv." Peter is laying back in the bed with his arm over his eyes and a small smile on his face, but when he looks back at Wade, he notices that his scars look really raw today. He motions towards them. "Is that why you went drinking?"

Wade shook his head and moved back into the bathroom. The shower starts running, but he's left the door open so they can keep talking even if he can't look Peter in the eyes right now.

"It's Domino's birthday tomorrow, but she's gonna spend it with her mom. We had a send-off birthday party."

"Oh, why didn't you remind me? I would have stopped by." The corners of his mouth is downturned.

"And have to introduce Spider-Man as my kind of best friend to almost the entirety of his free rogues gallery. No stress, baby boy."

"Do you want me to put some ointment on your sores when you're done?" Peter says instead of a thanks.

"You're too good to me, Petey," jokes Wade, but his happiness is palpable even through the moist and foggy room.