Lone Wolf's End (McKayla Series Book 1)

Chapter 10~ Envious

Mckayla

"The pack responds to you well," Nina said sitting on the bottom porch beside me. She kept enough distance that another person could sit in between us. I wanted to keep it that way. I needed to.

"I'm just trying to find your killers and get paid." I paused, startled by the sarcasm leaving my mouth. I hadn't expected that. Neither had Nina. The rogue I'd been for the last nine years held no humor. Though my sarcasm had been taken for humor on occasion I was always serious and meant every word.

Nina smiled. "You also have a reputation for not charging anyone." Nina leaned against the upper porch steps. "I could see why you'd want to charge us."

I grunted, fidgeting my fingers around, cracking them as I stared out in a distance.

"This is the longest you've been human?" Nina asked randomly.

I took in a long inhale. "It's hard staying wolf here. You ask too many damn questions," I said dryly, again with a hint of sarcasm. I was growing too comfortable and bit my lip. Throat tightened, I said, "I trust my wolf to protect me." My words suggested so much.

Nina smiled and then looked down taking a long breath. "Mckayla..."

I smelled the salty tears forming in her eyes. "Don't." I couldn't take her sobbing reasons for why she betrayed my trust, that cost our friendship. It was the past. I only wanted to finish this and go.

"Let me," Nina protested. I saw her hand hesitate toward me and she was about to stop but she pushed past some internal barrier reaching for my hand. She linked our fingers together and I felt as if for the first time I was submitting to someone else's needs. Nina's needs. I felt open and exposed.

I pulled my hand away. "Don't do that," I growled. My skin formed goosebumps. So much anger was embedded into my chest; but the old desires had never gone. She was my weakness.

"I can't touch you...ever?" Nina questioned, her expression skewed into a frown, snatching me from my thoughts.

I looked her head on, eyes narrowed. "No," I said firmly. "We are not cubs anymore. I am not the girl you fantasized about after I left you to be submissive to Malcolm."

Nina turned to the front door checking to see if any were paying attention to their conversation. She held determination in her features. Nina sighed ignoring Mckayla yet again, linking their fingers. "Please..." I stared into her eyes and then scowled moving my hand again. She hissed but didn't reach in again. "I know what I did, I can't even forgive myself." Nina began to speak but I didn't face her. "I realized that punishing myself has given me nothing but bitterness. I want to be happy again. And I was the happiest when you were here. I realize now--yes, you are right. You leaving, forced me to face myself. And still I did not choose me. Choose us. I should have chased you." She forced my eyes on her with her sincerity. "You can try your best to disconnect yourself from this pack, me...but, I'm not giving up on you. Not this time. I denied myself the truth all these years. I won't now."

"What truth is that?" I finally spoke, shaking my head in disbelief over her confessions. I couldn't trust her words even though I heard her truths.

"That losing you...destroyed me and everyone here. That I've always loved you."

I checked to see if the pack were listening. They weren't.

Nina smiled. "It's just you and me. And no one who matters cares." She slid closer to me moving her hand up my thigh. I took a small intake of air as her hand moved nearer to the center of my core.

"I'm ready, Mckayla. To be with you."

I leaned my head back trying to read her. I scrutinized her a long time. She seemed different from the girl I left nine years ago. She would have never been this forward. Was I supposed to trust her? I couldn't. But my body and the human in me responded to her. Even my wolf, but I was defensive. Needed to rely on myself.