Chapter 22 - Repairs

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I stood up to follow Yoshida-kun, but Akito grabbed my arm. I looked back at him desperately. He met my eyes and shook his head. I lost all my strength and sunk on to my chair. I felt his grip soften and release.

Was I supposed to chase after him? Should I? But he did all those things to Sora... But I know that he has a nice side... What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?

Everyone in the class, who had been watching in silence, went back to doing their own thing, completely unaware of the turmoil going on within me

Akito was silent. He didn't talk to me, and whenever someone else attempted to start a conversation with him, he gave short replies and everyone stopped bothering trying to communicate with him. I barely paid any attention to the classes.

Yoshida-kun is sad. He's sad because of me. Why did I make him sad? What's wrong with me?

While I was drowning in my self-loathing, the bell rang for lunch. It distracted me for a moment and Nakamura-sensei brushed past me and whispered, "He's on the roof."

I turned my head to face him and he continued walking as if nothing had happened. What he said registered in my head. I ran out the door to the roof of the school. I stopped when I reached the door, placing my hand on the handle slowly.

Why do I care so much? I know we used to date and everything... But he's done some unforgivable things. Have I gone soft? Think. What would Sora have said?

I closed my eyes and thought, opening them with new resolve. Sora would forgive him. After the incident, I don't think that Sora ever really did blame him or show any animosity towards him. I think it was mainly me. My inability to believe what Yoshida-kun had done, and inability to hate him. So I tricked myself into thinking if Sora hated him, then I had to hate him too.

But Sora doesn't hate him. Maybe it's because that's they way Sora is. He never hates. And if Sora doesn't hate him, then I have no reason to either. I clenched my fist and breathed in deeply.

Today's the day you fix this, Yui. Fix the sadness you cause instead of running away from it.

With that, I opened the door and the wind whipped my hair back. I closed the door gently, resisting the gale that threatened to slam it shut.

I walked around a corner. Something told me that he would be there.

And he was.

I stood there, not knowing what to say first.

Legs crossed, back and head leaning against the wall, his eyes looked to me. Then looked away. He stood up and walked to me, looking bored and unimpressed. "Forget what I said," he mumbled.

I heard what he'd said completely. But I didn't understand. "What?"

His eyes shadowed and he grit his teeth. "I said forget what I said. Forget me. Forget us. Forget everything we had."

He walked around me to leave. No. No. Don't leave! I grabbed his wrist. "Talk to me! Don't walk away. I won't know what's wrong if you don't tell me!" I told him.

He didn't look at me. He pulled his wrist from my grip and continued walking.

"Yoshida! Please tell me what's wrong!" I cried.

He stopped and turned around, looking at me in surprise. "Yo... shi... da...?"

I covered my mouth when I realised what I had just said. I didn't call him Yoshida-kun. Before, during and after we dated, I'd always called him Yoshida-kun. He'd insisted on it, and told me to save calling him just Yoshida until the right time.

I could lose him. Yoshida, out of my life. For good. But I didn't want that!

Now is the right time.

I removed my hands from my mouth. "Yes."

I think he realised what I thinking. He looked at the ground with forced smile. "Well, it's not exactly as if I could leave after that."

"Pleasedon'thateme." I forced the words out of my mouth.

"I couldn't hate you... Even if I tried."

I sighed. Thank goodness.

"Do you... hate me?" He looked at me earnestly. My answer here seemed extremely important.

I shook my head. "Never."

He smiled so beautifully at that moment that I almost burst into tears.

"I'm really glad."

Hs face suddenly dropped.

"But I don't deserve it."

"What do you mean?"

He looked sad all over again. "After what I've done. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve to talk so comfortably to you. I don't deserve to receive your happiness."

"Who says that's how it has to be?"

Yoshida was unable to answer.

"Who gets to decide, Yoshida?"

"No one. That's just how it has to be."

"But why?"

"Because what I did then isn't forgotten. The pain I've caused won't go away if you forgive me. No matter how hard I try, things won't go back to how they used to be. Before I ruined everything. So whatever pain I receive, I will receive without complaint. It's the only thing I deserve-"

"Stop being so self-absorbed!" I interrupted.

He blinked.

"You don't get to decide that! Can you get more egotistical? You hurt me in the past. Yeah, it hurt then and still does now. I might be a bit scarred. Take responsibility for what you've done! Stop running away and deciding your punishment on your own. Since you feel just so overwhelmingly pained because of what you did to me, I'll decide your punishment."

I walked up to him. He closed his eyes and braced himself.

He slowly opened his eyes when he realised no blows had been dealt. They widened when he saw me looking up at him.

"Yoshida, this isn't me forgetting everything. This is me making memories. We can't go back to the way we were. But we can start over, using the past as our guide."

I held my hand out, recreating that moment of so many years ago.

"Hi! I'm Yui Hinata, it's nice to meet you!" I beamed.

"My name is... Hiro Yoshida," he smiled, taking my hand. I shook his hand.

"Wow, Hiro Yoshida-kun, I swear you sparkle when you smile."

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