𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. carl grimes

6 - ASS-KICKER

I wiped the tears off of my cheek as I pull away from Daryl. I didn't even noticed that he was holding me until now. I don't speak, I don't have to, because Daryl understands me. He always does and it's crazy how.

"I'll go check on Rick." Daryl tells me before he goes to Rick.

Maggie hands the baby to Carl, who takes it carefully. Hershel said he wanted to check on the baby so Carl walked towards him. I took a good look on the baby and only now do I realized, the baby's a girl.

Hershel then goes on about the milk formula that the baby will need. Daryl, Maggie and Glenn will go out to find the formula, and my eyes landed on Rick.

He picks up his axe and runs back to the cellblock. "Rick!" I call to him but he doesn't stop.

I sighed. Give him space, Farren. He just lost his wife.

I walked over to Carl, who's still holding the baby. The world has gotten to bullshit and we have 99 problems, and now we have a baby to take care of. It's not that I don't want to have the baby in this group, it's just that I'm scared that if shit goes down, this baby might get into harm's way and I don't want that.

"We should take her inside," I told Carl, Beth and Hershel. "Clean her up and all."

Carl nods. "Yeah, I'm sure your mom will—"

Beth places her hand on Carl's shoulder to stop him from talking. He was confused, but the look on Beth's face made his realized. He turned to me, face full of sympathy but I showed no emotions. Ain't it weird that we both lost our mom at the same day.

"Come on," I mumble before we start walking.

Once we were inside, Beth took the liberty of cleaning the baby up and keeping her warm. I went to my cell and sat on Carl's bunk, burying my face in my hands.

Dad's gone, Sophia's gone, T-Dog's gone, Lori's gone... and now Mom's gone too.

I wished I had asked Daryl how she died or where they put her body, but theories are inside my head. She could've been bitten, or stranded by walkers, or they had to put her out of misery.

I felt the mattress dip beside me and I already know that Carl's here. He's not talking, we just sat there in silent. He's thinking of his mom, I don't even need to guess what else he could be thinking of.

I lifted my face off of my hands before facing Carl. His eyes are still a bit red from crying, and his nose is still reddish while his cheeks were pinkish. He still looks good even after crying, as good as he looks the first time I saw him.

"I..." I trailed off, feeling my throat becoming dry. "I'm sorry you had to do that."

He doesn't give a reply; instead he wraps his arm around me and buries his face onto the crook of my neck. I found myself hugging back.

If my mom saw me and Carl hugging like this, she would've had this playful smile on her lips and teasing eyes that I would usually roll my eyes at, but now I'd kill to see her like that again.

Mom...

In my head I keep beating myself up for being so hard and cold to my mom. I should've just let her in, I should've just accepted her comforts and efforts. I should've spent more time with her. Regret is truly at the end.

Before I even realized, I was crying onto Carl's shoulder. And later on I felt something drip to the skin of my neck and I realized that it was tears.

"Hey, Farren—" I heard Beth's voice so I slowly looked up. She was carrying the baby, and the baby was crying. "Oh, um... sorry."

I wiped my tears and pulled away from Carl, who didn't show his face from Beth. "It's okay. What is it?"

"She won't stop crying." Beth said as she rocks the baby, but the baby still wouldn't stop crying.

I sighed and stood up. "She's probably hungry. Here, give her to me."

Beth gave the baby to me and I carefully carried her in my arms. I began rocking back and forth, hoping for her to stop crying. I got out of the cell with Beth and Carl following, and I went to where Hershel and Glenn was.

"They should've been back by now." Glenn panics as I come inside the room.

"Let them take their time. Finding a formula isn't easy." Hershel tells the guy before he sees me. He smiles and I nod my head to him.

"Where's Rick?" I asked the two men and Glenn looks down at the floor.

"He's..." he trails off. "He's not exactly at his best state right now."

I nod, completely understanding why. Hours later, the baby still wouldn't stop crying. Carl, Beth and I both take turns and try to calm the baby down, but she still wouldn't. The cellblock's been filled with the baby's cries.

"Shh, shh." I try to coo the baby but she still won't stop.

I suddenly remember what my mom told me about her experience with me and Sophia. Since we were twins, it was two times harder to take care of us. The constant crying at 3am always tires her and dad out, but she was still thankful that they had us. I remember her saying that she used to sing for us to calm us down, and it worked every time.

So that's what I do now.

Did you see the flares in the sky?
Were you blinded by the light?
Did you feel the smoke in your eyes?
Did you, did you?

I started singing quietly, while rocking the baby back and forth. I couldn't help but smile when the baby's cries quiets down a little.
Did you see the sparks filled with hope?
You are not alone.
'Cause someone's out there, sending out flares.

The baby had gone quiet and is now on the verge of falling asleep. I smile even more.

Someone's out there... sending out flares.

"Here, give her to me." I hear Carl say behind me and I turn around.

Beth, Hershel and Glenn were smiling at me and I can feel myself blush. I carefully gace the baby to Carl, she stirs but doesn't wake up. Although before I could let go of her arm completely, her little hand caught my pointer finger and held on it tight. Carl and I smile at each other before I sat down next to her.

"She's beautiful." I mutter to Carl, who nods in agreement.

I hear Hershel say something to Beth and Glenn, but I didn't hear it that good. I dismissed it.

"I'll go check on Axel and Oscar." Glenn tells us before leaving.

Minutes later the sound of gunshots were heard from outside the prison, but it wasn't many and I can hear the roar of Daryl's motorbike. The sounds caused the baby to be awake, full out crying again and I sighed. She didn't even got enough rest.

Daryl and Beth came rushing inside with a bag, and my face lits up when I see the formula. Thank goodness.

"How's she doing?" Daryl asked once she approached us. He takes the baby from Carl. "Shh, shh."

Beth gives the baby bottle to Daryl before he feeds the baby. "Come on, come on."

Daryl turns to Carl. "She got a name yet?"

The latter shook his head. "Not yet. But I was thinking maybe Sophia." My best friend looks at me with sympathy and I don't know how to react. "Then there's Carol, too."

My heart aches but mentally thank Carl for being sentimental.

He goes on after a few seconds of silence. "And Andrea. Amy. Jacqui. Patricia." I look down at the floor. "Or... Lori. I don't know."

The sadness and pain in my best friend's voice makes me sadder than ever.

"You like that? Huh? Little ass-kicker." And then there's Daryl who lifts up everyone's mood. "Right? That's a good name, right? Little ass-kicker. You like that, huh? You like that, sweetheart?"

Even though we have a baby and Daryl's being a complete mom to him, all of my hope has completely vanished. Nothing left.