Void // Billie Eilish

Six

Alexis
~

"Lexi I-I can't," Billie pants and pushes my head away from between her legs, prompting me to pull away completely and sit up on my knees while I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Not just one more?" I ask teasingly, which earns a look from a very tired Billie.

"Three rounds wasn't enough?" she asks, still sounding breathless.

My eyes rake over her perfect form, taking in the way her naked chest is heaving up and down slightly and how her hair is sticking to her sweaty forehead.

"I can never get enough of you," I reply and meet her eyes. She blushes slightly and looks away, a shy smile tugging at her lips.

We started hooking up again two weeks ago, and we've been going at it like rabbits since. I've been trying to do more than just hook up, like take Billie on dates, but it seems like every time I try she makes up some excuse about why she can't go out.

Trust me, I see the irony in me of all people wanting more from someone who just wants to fuck. I know this must be karma for all the times the roles were reversed,but fuck karma- I just want Billie to be mine again.

I think it's clear she's terrified of being committed and vulnerable again, which breaks my heart. Last week she told me that she lied when she told me she had a boyfriend, and that she hasn't been in a committed relationship since we broke up. A selfish part of me was happy that no one else has gotten her the way I had her, but a bigger part of me is sad that she felt too broken to bother trying again. It's my fault that she has such an aversion to relationships and love again, just like she did before we got together. I stand by breaking up with her, I was keeping her safe, but the way I did it clearly hurt her way more than I imagined, and I hate myself for that.

I lean down and slowly kiss up her soft, bare stomach. I feel her shiver slightly under me as I kiss farther between her breasts, then up to her neck. Eventually I reach her lips and I teasingly brush them with my own, until she takes it upon herself to properly connect our lips. We kiss slowly but passionately, her fingers threading into my hair while my hands softly stroke the skin on her sides.

"Let me take you out tonight," I mumble when I pull my lips away and open my eyes to gaze down at Billie.

"Like a date?" she asks and I nod.

"Exactly like a date."

"Not tonight, we have to go to Maia's party," she reminds me while she keeps playing with my hair.

I groan in annoyance at the reminder. It's a long weekend, so a bunch of people who left for college are back in town, which means there are tons of parties going on. I wasn't planning on going to any of them.

"You mean you have to go to Maia's party," I say with a chuckle and Billie pouts.

"But I wanna be with you tonight."

"Then ditch the party and let me take you somewhere nice," I insist and peck her pouty lips.

"But Lexi," she whines and shakes her head. "I haven't seen Maia for, like, 3 months. I can't ditch."

I groan and move my head down to nuzzle into her neck before mumbling, "Fine, I'll take you out some other time. But I'm not going to Maia's party."