Miss Perfect and The Bad Boy

twenty five - deals

Nicole

Two.

Two failed suicide attempts in a week. All because of me.

I was sitting in my bedroom, later that same day, not knowing what to do. Kelani and Aiden were here with me, trying to cheer me up. It wasn't working so far.

"Come on," Kelani said. "Let's go do something to get your mind off this. Prom's in a few days. Are you excited?"

I shook my head. Alex was in the hospital dying and she was worried about prom. "Alex was supposed to go with me to prom," I said in a low voice.

"I'll be your date!"

"You have Aiden. Besides, I'm not going."

"Yes you are. It's our last prom."

I looked at her. "The guy I love is dying in a hospital bed after he tried killing himself twice, partly because of me. Prom is the last thing on my mind right now."

I saw her glance at Aiden and he shook his head. She sighed and flopped down next to me. "I'm sorry. I get it. Everyone's in such a terrible mood, I was just trying to give you guys something to look forward to."

I turned over to look at her. "I don't know what to do. Nothing's giving him the will to live anymore. I'm so scared."

I turned around in my bed, burying my face into my pillows and I heard Aiden say something to Kelani under his breath. When I looked up again, my best friend was gone and Aiden was standing uncomfortably in front of me.

He cleared his throat. "Look, I know we're not close, but we both care about Alex. And I just want you to know that he loves you a lot."

I pressed my lips together in a thin line to keep them from quivering, and Aiden said, "Please don't cry. I don't know how to handle crying girls."

That made me laugh. "Okay, I won't cry." I took a deep breath. "He loves you too. You helped him a lot these last few years."

Aiden nodded. "That's what friends are for, right?"

One of the first nights Alex came here all those months ago, he said, What are friends for? I smiled wistfully. "He's going to be okay," I said firmly, not knowing if I was trying to convince Aiden or myself. "If anyone can pull through this, it's Alex."

Aiden nodded surely. "He's strong. He'll make it."

Kelani appeared again, with three bottles of soda and a bag of chips in her hand. "Comfort food," she said.

I watched with a small smile as she and Aiden both sat on the floor, their knees touching. He brushed a piece of hair away from her face and she squeezed his arm. We had to thank Mr. Johnson for this, I realized. I was glad he moved us, because otherwise, Aiden and Kelani wouldn't have found each other. If one good thing came out of this whole situation, it was them.

There was silence for a few moments before Kelani spoke. "Why did he do it?" She asked in a quiet voice.

I stopped for a second. No one had asked me that until now. I looked at Aiden. He knew, of course, but he didn't say anything.

"A lot of reasons," I finally said. "His life was never easy. He's had depression ever since we were little. None of us knew it at the time, but looking back, there was times when we were 8 or 9 and he wouldn't leave his room or eat or talk to anyone. He got addicted to drugs twice, his mom ran away and came back into his life with no warning, his dad just died, he got forced to join a gang because his dad. There's so much more, too. I wish I could take away his problems."