saying & deserving

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"I..I just guessed.", I muttered.
She turned towards me, her face was tear smitten.
"Oh really? You think I'm a fool or something?!", She was almost shouting.
"Look, Pepper.. you're getting it all wrong.. I–"

No.
This time it wasn't a kiss.

It was a tight slap across my face, for a moment I felt like I saw in a black hole or something because my vision was awful. Everything went numb for a while and then it was normal.
It felt like the Hulk himself had slapped me.

"You deserve that.", She whispered under her breath as I finally regained composure and looked at her.
"I get it, but it wouldn't be great if I die because I got slapped.", I whispered turning my neck from left to right to feel normal.
"Obviously.", She said looking like me as if I had murdered someone.
"Now, tell me, why did you lie? And why did you pretend like you were dead?!", She said looking at me like a stern mathematics teacher.

"Okay, honey, I can explain but only if you let me sit somewhere. My head is still reeling with the effect.", I said as she gave me a curt nod and walked down to her bed.
I sat opposite to her as she handed me a glass of water. I drank it slowly feeling normal.

"Begin.", She said as I nodded like an obedient child,
"Look, as a matter of fact, I did die. I am currently dead. My body is still lying in my grave. And this thing you're seeing in front of you is my soul."

"Soul?", She asked, perplexed.

"Yes, soul. Look, first things first, souls are not some sparkly transparent nonsense that go around haunting people. We've got better jobs like eating cheeseburgers and sitting by the lake."
"Yeah, they are real great jobs.", She said sarcastically.
"I will pretend that I didn't hear that.", I said and then continued.

"Pep I'm not lying.. this is like some weird spell on me which makes me look like a human being and nobody was supposed to recognise me. I have no idea how you die.", I said in desperation to get her mood okay.
"Oh wait, so that's the reason everyone's pretending like you're someone else?"
"Yup. Absolutely.", I stated as she lowered her eyes and sat still for a while.

As if absorbing everything that I had just said.

"And what about you and Steve?", She said not looking up.
I felt blood rush to my cheeks.
So she had actually seen us kiss. Damn it, obviously, she knew all the passwords.
I cursed myself and then gulped nervously.

"Umm.. actually-"
"Actually you're in love with him?", She asked finally looking up.
"I-I don't really know Pep, it's just so different and weird. I think I am but next moment I realise that I love you.. it's like a mess.", I said truthfully.

"If you would have loved me then you wouldn't have gone to him.", Her voice was emotionless. As if accepting it even when it tore her heart apart.
I nodded, half embarrassed, half guilty.

She finally stood up and turned to leave.
"Pepper.", I said and paused, like I wanted to say so much and I was at a loss of words.
"Yes?"

"Maybe I never deserved you."

"

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