The Colorless Land

Chapter 34: Restless

"So this is it, huh," Saryana said into the heavy silence. "There's only six of us now."

She said it quietly, gravely but calmly, with the stoic resolve of someone who had led many parties into missions where not all had come back alive and knew the mission had to go on. "You won't like to hear this," she said, "but don't think about it too much. You'll still have time to mourn later."

Rising to her feet, she set her jaw, letting her dark gaze roam over the remaining party, looking each of them in the eyes. "I can lead you from here," she said. "Let's go."

One by one they rose. No one looked willing, but no one protested. Aithal placed both hands over his chest and bowed to the empty gate from which they had come. Then he joined the others, taking over Saryana's position at the rear.

With ever-quickening strides they cut through the Jadirian landscape. More and more grassy hills rose in front of their eyes, houses and villages standing amid groves of olive trees. An unfamiliar bird circled high up in the sky, not beating its wings. Its cry rang through the air and was carried away by the wind.

Jolette tried to follow Saryana's advice. Trying not to think of Lisha, she stared into the landscape as she walked, trying to take in every new sight, observe everything. Just a short while ago she had been looking forward to coming here. She had been looking forward to seeing the world and exploring this country she had never been to before, climbing every tree, turning every rock, taking in everything it had to offer.

But that had been...before.

Lisha was gone, and she couldn't shake it. No matter how much she looked at the gray-green trees, the rustling grass, the blue sky, she couldn't shake the knowledge that she was gone, and she wasn't returning.

It wasn't even that she had been so close to Lisha or had known her so well. She must have known the old sorceress for less than a season, and the more she thought about it, the less she realized she had never known anything about her. Not her powers, not her history, nothing. She had lived in the world for so long, seen so much, taught so many. And Jolette hadn't bothered learning anything from her at all.

She would never know now, she realized. All the things she had thought of asking Lisha she would never get to ask.

Could she not have done anything to change all this? Could she not have saved her?

If only she had been stronger, she thought. If only she and Edmian had been able to speak up in time, warn everyone before it was too late. Maybe together they could have done something. All together, all seven of them...maybe with their combined strength she would still be alive.

Maybe if she had done more than jump in front of Lisha and slash at the shadow...maybe if she had some kind of power, some kind of magic she could have used...

Her eyes strayed to Edmian's chest, where she knew the pendant hung. Her fingernails dug into her palms.

She was so weak. So weak. And now Lisha was gone.

Who else would she lose to her weakness?

Who else would she fail to save before she was strong enough to protect those she cared about?

Throwing snowballs and slashing at shadows was one thing. But it wasn't enough. Not for Lisha. Not for anyone. Not...

Not...for her parents?

Lisha had been right next to her until she died, ready to talk to, ready to be asked all the questions she wanted. But her parents...they were somewhere out there. Maybe alive. Maybe long dead. Maybe transformed into unrecognizability by the magic of the Colorless.