Breed and Burn: Faceless

Chapter 14 - Trigger(I)

The darkness consumed his frail form. It was just him, alone, in the bathroom sitting on the toilet lid. There was no mother to soothe his fear and tell Axel it would be okay and that stung. There was just stone-cold reality. He felt bad for not missing her but he couldn't miss something he didn't remember. Maybe if he stayed for a moment longer in that awful place he would have found out if there was ever a mother. Shaking his head as if convincing himself he did the right thing, Axel stared down at his hands. He had one shot opportunity to seize everything he had ever wanted and instead of capturing it he let it go.

There was an urge to end things. He didn't want to die but he didn't want this life either.

"So, you know what you have to do," he murmured to himself.

Nobody could even look him in the eye since he recalled the events with enough tears to fill a well. His voice was all wrong like he was speaking whilst being choked. Some pretended to understand. Some just looked away. Others laughed and didn't believe him and that it wall in his head. Only those few that were there with him and a handful of strangers believed him. One said boys don't cry. Axel wanted to laugh in his face but those damn tears would just take over again and again. They must believe him to be a wuss now. Frustration began to build in thick layers.

"I know what I have to do. This is my life and I have to deal with it." Wiping away his tears, he forced himself to stop crying. "I will escape and get my memories back and find out what the hell the deal is with Seven."

He left the stall and quickened his place so he didn't have to look at his damn reflection. Every time Axel thought about it, his throat would close up and like he had to constantly layer a new identity around himself so no one would think he was conceited or patronizing. Maybe, he was simply frightened of being judged. He was going to grow up and toughen up. Crying only seemed to highlight his insecurities. All insecurities were born hungry and he was ravenous and took what it could. He was sure fixing his face would be his biggest regret until his dying breath.

Something caught his eye. It was blacker than its name and placed so perfectly on the counter, standing out against the counter. Immediately, Axel assumed someone was nearby and he was about to lock himself in the stall but he realised who'd ever put that there was long gone. He swore he didn't hear anyone enter or leave. Then he remembered what Thorne said about how the food got there and he panicked. Gazing up at the ceiling long and hard, he began to pick apart fine lines a shade darker then ceiling which could easily be a trap door.

He looked back at it. His muscles were frozen in place but filled with such a tingling pleasure that Axel wanted to run till it was gone. No. Fleeing was the dumbest move. If he picked it up and showed it to the others, they would probably lose the little trust they had gained. His brain was too angsty to analyze his options. Every muscle craved relaxation as blood coursed through his veins and pulsated in his ears.

Thing is this wasn't like finding food or a pen. This could be crossing a line he could never go back over.

Axel needed to show the same resistance as rock did to the wind and fight his case if things went badly. Taking a deep breath in, he steadied his breaths. With a throbbing heart and everything telling him not to, Axel hoped everything would work against the odds.

The only other option was to pull the two opposing options so they can charge in the same direction. Pull together. Only one slight problem, Axel had no idea how to do that.

So, he had to choose between what was right and what he thought was right. The only option was to choose. Why did he always find him stuck in these situations? Axel was like the main character in a novel who experienced everything and found out everything first because there was something slightly special about him compared to the other characters. The only thing missing was that twist that makes you, the reader, question what you believe. So yes, Axel was as conflicted as conflicted gets. It wasn't fair that he had to make the major decisions and help lead and be involved with everything. But this was his choice.