Breed and Burn: Faceless

chapter 23- wither, want, regain

Never had Axel felt so afraid and yet so willing to do something at the same time. The more he thought about what he was doing, it seemed like he would become angry but he took a breath in and looked tired. Ducking down his head to hide his monstrous face, he felt his mouth become as dry as dust. The only reason he was bothering to even contain his anger was that Sage had decided to companion him through whatever painful procedure Seven would perform. The memories that Seven had resurfaced without him knowing didn't hurt him- sure they broke him a little- but they were fine. Whatever fine meant now.

However, Seven told him that those memories were not supposed to hurt since they were vague and missed a lot of substance like names or location. The pain would be like Thorne's when he returned his memories accidentally only it would last much longer. Memories can't be chosen, only resurfaced at random. According to Seven, memories would be hardly extinguishable for dreams but enough to piece together. To be able to piece these memories together, Seven would perform the procedure on him and then he would have to sleep for six hours. Like clockwork. Seven said he could time it, that is was a simple skill taught to them at a young age but Axel was doubtful.

Squeezing his shoulder, Sage sat beside him and gave him a pathetic smile. They were in the main carriage and had moved chairs to face the window. Supposedly, this was a futile attempt to distract Axel from the pain. All it did was constantly remind Axel of where they were; the grey sky tinged with fiery colour, the buildings made of sticks and bones and flesh, the trees who branches looked like claws. All dehumanized. All degraded. All deranged.

"I made sure Trent wouldn't come. Don't get me wrong he wanted to but he... He isn't ready. Not now. Thorne and the others are finally starting to come up with the rules."

"I'm just glad that blockhead can't be here. Every time I look at him... I just feel so bloody angry and guilty and confused and...

"Quiet, brother," Sage said, gently. "That's why I'm here. To make sure you don't set off any bombs if you get my drift. Right now, you're stomping around making enemies left and right."

"Good that."

"It's better if this is over quickly and this airhead decides to shower and take his sweet, sweet time," said Sage, shaking his head.

"Thorne promised...Seven stank. I'm glad it..." Axel trailed off, too defeated to try. Words waited on his tongue but for some reason, they never came.

Hoping there was a branch of hope he could hold into as he fell into less and less light, Axel wondered if there was a bottom to pain. Something you feel after being so overwhelmed for long that things no longer hurt you; they can only numb.

After listening to Sage's words strung out between chasms of silence and staring at the blackened sky for what seemed like time without end, Seven climbed into the room. No longer did he smell rancid like very ancient fish. Someone had even granted him clean clothes besides the rag he wore around his waist. Without blood and flitch laying an inch thick on his skin, Axel felt himself shudder. Was that how other's perceived him as? It felt like looking in a mirror that didn't work. Not being able to break his gaze, Axel felt himself plummet in disorientation. Overwhelmed in a strange fascination, Axel couldn't help saddening. Seven was what he was supposed to look like- more natural and human-like. It was ironic considering it wasn't even human. Next to Seven, Axel's doll-like features were only emphasized. Even the dull sheen on his face was similar to a light shining on a porcelain doll.

"Axel- concentrate man. Nice, calm thoughts, remember? Look out the window again..."

"I'm fine... not angry," Axel responded, lazily drifting in and out of a trance. It sounded like he had been carrying a great weight for many miles and had just been relieved of it.