CHAINS TO FREEDOM.✔

Chapter Ninety-Three

Jessica didn't see Millie leave. All she knew was that she wasn't at the breakfast table the next day or there for any of the other meals that were served. She assumed Millie had left in the night to fight with the demons that would eventually claim her.

Two weeks exactly to the day Adam came to her. She was dressed in her nightdress. Jane was brushing her hair at the mirror.

Jessica peered at his reflection. His eyes connected with hers. She looked quickly away and fiddled with a hairpin that lay on the duchess. She had tried so hard to do as he'd asked and open her heart and mind to him. She admitted that the fear she once had of him had lessoned but on occasion, like now, it remained.

"Can you please leave us, Jane?" Adam took his eyes from Jessica and looked at the pretty petit housemaid.

"Yes, My Lord." Jane bowed her head and scurried from the room.

When the door had closed Adam moved to stand behind Jessica. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gazed at her reflection. The instant he touched her he felt her shirk away. It didn't make him feel good. "I've waited two weeks, Jessica."

"Please, Adam I am not ready yet."

He pulled her to her feet and made her face him. "Will you ever be ready?" Adam put his hand under her chin to make her look at him. "I've done nothing but think about you. I've been patient."

"I love another man, Adam. I've tried to push him from my mind as you asked." Tears seeped from her eyes. "I can't. No matter how I've tried I can't forget him." Jessica lifted a hand and wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. "It's not just that. There's our history. You let Millie send me away. You helped her. You've hit me and treated me badly." She looked up at him with pleading in her eyes. "I suffered so many horrors. My life was taken away from me. Twice. Once by you and Millie. The second by another woman. Just when I thought I'd found my place I stupidly let another inadvertently drive me away." Jessica stepped out of his hold, paced the floor and then turned to face him. "If you want this to work then you have to give me time. If you want me to forgive you then you have to give me time. If you want me to forget the man I love then again, you have to give me time." She held her hands out to him. "If you force this then it will be rape because I'm not willing. If you rape me then I will never be able to forgive and forget. Is that what you want?"

Adam slumped down on the edge of the bed, ran his hands through his hair and then looked up at her. "What are the chances of you forgiving and forgetting?"

"I'm not sure what you mean." Jessica was once more taken aback at his response. He continually surprised her.

"Well. Are the chances high?" He gave her a crooked smile. "Am I at a fifty, fifty or do you still hate and despise me?"

"I don't hate you, Adam. I've never hated you. I've always seen you more as my brother. As you said I was twelve when we first met. Young enough to be impressionable and though we didn't see much of each other father always talked of you as if you were son and as my brother. Perhaps if I had been older, I would have thought of you differently." Jessica paced again, and then said, "To live as a married couple would ruin us both."

Adam blew out his breath. "I guess that's something. You. Not hating me." He studied her before continuing. "I don't care what the world thinks, Jessica. The world can think what the hell they like."

She couldn't help but smile. His words brought on the memory of another man saying exactly those things.

"How do we move forward?"

His words brought her out of her musings. "We become friends. We learn to trust each other."

"In that case I'll take the first steps by telling you that I've put Loxton Hall up for sale."

"No." Jessica gasped. "You can't. This is our home."

"I'm sorry. I had no choice. I'm trying to be completely honest with you since this is what you've asked of me and I owe you that, Jessica." Adam took her hands in his. "Millie and this damn potato blight have just about ruined me. Selling the hall will allow us to move on. We can live anywhere you want. Somewhere no one knows us if that will make things better between us." He paused and wiped a tear from her face with his finger. "I've had an offer and I've accepted it." Adam took her face in his hands. "The buyer is coming with a solicitor tomorrow so the contract can be signed." He kissed each of her eyelids, and then looked back at her. "I'm sorry. This will be a new beginning. For me. For you. For the children. We can put our past behind us and start a fresh."

Jessica watched as he closed the door behind him. Could she ever start a fresh? Each time she looked into her daughter's eyes she saw Louis. Jessica covered her face with her hands and sobbed.

Copyright © 2019 Donna Fieldhouse. All rights reserved.

I do think Adam is trying to be a good person and make amends.   I sense they can become friends but lovers?  I'm not so sure. ♥♥

One chapter to go!!!

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