Erika- A War torn Love

Chapter 12

The next morning I woke to find Heinrich dressing. He apologised for intending to leave without speaking to me, but didnt want to wake me as I looked so peaceful.

"It's ok" I told him.

I reminded him that I had to be up, as today was my first day back to work. As I dressed myself I thought back to the previous night. I felt a bit sore below and I wasn't quite sure if what I had experienced was pleasure. I watched Henrich as he cleaned himself in the small sink, wondering if he would want to have sex again. As I began to walk over to the sink to wash Heinrich wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed my neck. I guessed that this meant we would have many more nights like the last.

I smiled at him through the mirror and then after he smiled back he left me to finish up. Still feeling confused I dried my face then reached over to my shirt and pulled it on. It was still uncomfortable, as the wounds under my arms were not completely healed. They had been stitched closed three days prior, after they had finally finished draining. I managed however to dress without much further problem then looked in the mirror to position my skirt before leaving the room.

As I lined up in the yard with a new group of women Heinrich appeared. Today was the day he would give us the news of our travel to the munitions base. I was excited to get there to tell the girls whom I trained with of my developments with Heinrich. I felt sure they would be interested. I also quite liked the idea of having female company again.

He began by explaining the same as before, that the girls had progressed so well during training. I chuckled quietly, wondering if this again was a lie, before concentrating on what he had to say next.

"Unfortunately due to the recent bombing the munitions base requires girls more than ever. The train line is still impassable; therefore we should pack at once and then report to the yard for vehicle assignment" Heinrich explained.

I almost choked as he uttered the words. As the girls dispersed, I ran over to Heinrich. He looked a little annoyed at my greating him publically. He could see I was obviously upset, as tears began to fill my eyes. He pulled me behind a nearby military vehicle.

"What is wrong?" he asked.

He now held me close and wiped away the tears. He's demeanour completely back to the kind person I hoped he was, but which confused me as I still wasn't completely sure was actually true.

"Are they dead, the girls I trained with?" I asked him.

He confirmed that they were. He explained that the plague I had contracted had saved me from death. I had twice been saved, by the plague and then by Heinrich, from the plague. I thought back to how much I hated the Nazis before I had come here, now I didnt know what to think. I felt so conflicted, so guilty. I still hated the regime, hated Hitler, but Heinrich made me wonder if perhaps there may be exceptions to this hatred?

Heinrich continued to hug me tightly, kissing me on my forehead. He told me that he had not said anything whilst I was in the hospital for fear of upsetting me. Then, he had planned to tell me before the line up, but again didnt want to upset me and spoil the previous night. When I started to shout at him, to vent my anger. He just pulled me close again and held me tightly as I sobbed for about five minutes.

"It's ok, let it all out" he said.

He continued to tell me that everything was ok. It wasnt ok though, as I thought about the bombing I realised, it was another example of loss brought by the war. To make matters worse I was now about to lose Heinrich having to leave for the munitions base immediately. In that moment my anger at Hitler for bringing this war was enormous.