so much more than a fan - billie eilish

show me the way home

title: ilomilo - billie eilish and finneas o'connell (meaning he helped not sung)

elle's POV

one week later*

---------------------------

"you ready baby?" i ask, zipping up my suitcase. "yep. they're gonna like me right?" may asks with a worried look. "they're gonna love you" i tell her and peck my lips to her's, making her smile. i grab her bag from the floor and carry our stuff out to the porch. "gabby!" may exclaims as a car pulls up. may's friend gabby is taking us to the airport today, i don't really know gabby all that well but supposedly they're quite close. may runs up to gabby and hugs her tightly with a big smile on her face. "hey beauty" gabby greets her and spins may around.

a bit too close for comfort but okay

don't even, it's fine

how do i know that?

maybe the reason they're so close is because may is cheating on you and you don't even know it

bro shut the fuck up may loves me and i know that

the fact that you just told yourself to shut the fuck up is hilarious

ha dumb bitch

may's not cheating on me so stop

i'm taken out of my thoughts as may rubs my arm. "you alright belle?" she asks in a concerned whisper. "yeah. how're you gabby? it's great to see you" i say with a smile. gabby looks me up and down, obviously trying to hide a grimace but i shake it off. "i'm great. whore- how're you?" she asks with a fake smile. "i'm fantastic" i respond with the same fake smile, putting my arm around may and pulling her closer to me without breaking eye contact with this whore- i mean... delightful person. "you ready to go?" may asks. "mhm" i nod. i put our bags in the trunk of the car and get in the back seat as may gets in the front.

the drive is filled with may and gabby talking about whatever the fuck as i sit quietly in the backseat listening to music through my headphones. sometimes i like to listen to music and look out the window as if i were in a music video. i think everyone does that but oh well. "looks like it's starting to rain" i hear may say as i take them off when she looks back at me. "lovely" i smile a little and put my headphones back on, continuing to look out the window. raindrops fall on the window so obviously i play the racing rain game, there's no way i couldn't. everybody does it. they say it's just kids but i know for a fact that mum still does it.

i wonder if billie still does

i bet she does

if she played it when we were still together, i'm sure she still does

billie loved that game to her core

every time it rained she'd run to the nearest window and play it for as long as everyone would let her. eventually i'd get needy and call her back to bed.

why am i thinking of billie?

because you still love her

woah, woah woah! no i don't!

you can deny it all you want but it's true

fuck off

i roll my eyes and try to focus on the music as i watch the rain fall down the window. "polaroid of you dancing in my room. i want to remember, i think it was about noon" pretty girl by clairo starts playing through my headphones and a small smile creeps onto my face as i lean my head against the window. i love clairo, she's so adorable.