The Librarian and the Fox Princess: a Donghua Dijun and Bai Fengjiu story, V.I

Chapter 14 - There's Beauty In The Breakdown

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Dong Hua woke up before dawn while the darkness was still pervasive. She was no longer in her fox form. She sat nestled in his lap with her upper body cradled in his arms. His little fox was breathing deeply, and sleeping soundly, her head tucked under his chin. Somehow, her left hand was snuggled down the opening of his outer robe and resting on his chest. He looked down and smiled. It was mostly likely that when she was in her fox form, her paw had somehow slipped in there.

He didn't know why she'd always ended up changing forms while asleep in his arms. He didn't think it was purposeful and figured she didn't know why that happened either.  He didn't mind. It was the best of both worlds for him. He was able to go to sleep cuddled with his little fox and wake up with his little fox princess in his arms.

Until she appeared in his life, he had never experienced  the warm comfort of another being on his body. He had never known the privilege of being able to carry the responsibility of another person's safety and comfort in his own arms. Her presence in his life had gifted him many indelible first experiences.

He sighed deeply at the quiet joy he felt having this bundle of sweetness, purity, mischievousness, exuberance, and unending generosity in his arms. He smiled as he remembered all the times she would offer him a bite of food she deemed scrumptious, that she felt he absolutely had to try. Even before she started eating she would often bring a piece of delicious food to his mouth.

She shared all her treasures with him. She had made him feel important, not because he was Dong Hua Dijun, but because he was someone she had befriended. She was a person who took care of her friends. She had cared for him in ways that no person ever had. Even if others had tried, he wouldn't have let them. But she was different. Somehow, this little fox had burrowed her way into his heart.

Something in his bones ached in response to the recognition of what she meant to him. He felt the ache in his chest, in his arms, in his wrists, and down his legs. He was the almighty god who was almost as old as time.

He knew that mortals' bones would ache as they aged, but as an immortal, was he finally getting old? Or rather, too old, he thought. But with her, he found himself to be different. He was at times naive, confused, unsure, engaged, inspired, and in awe. If anything, he felt dynamic and rejuvenated when he was around her. He had been seeped in apathy and ennui for over a million years; he never even imagined he could experience his life in a different way.

And there it was again, that ache. He closed his eyes and steadied his breath. When the ache dissipated, he looked down at her face, peacefully still asleep. Her red phoenix flower birthmark was a perfect contrast to her porcelain skin. He felt afflicted that he would no longer be able to see her bright and expressive face every day. Back in the Nine Heavens, everything would be different for them.

In this realm, they had been free to be themselves, without the prying eyes and judgments of others. He would return to his monotonous life in Tai Chen Palace and she would return to her adventure-filled life in Qing Qiu.

She was sure to have many more adventures with many more people and make many more friends. Would she remember their time together in this realm? If she did, would she always remember it fondly? In the several days he'd spent with her, he had traversed more emotions than he'd ever had in his whole immortal life. He knew that what he was feeling now was dread. He dreaded their inevitable separation and he dreaded the thought of her forgetting him.

He lowered his face onto her head and nestled his lips into her soft silky raven hair. He gently placed a kiss on her head. He had never kissed anyone before. She would be his first. She smelled of peach blossoms with a faint wisp of vanilla, and what else was it? There was something else.