EASY WAY OUT ¹ ➢ spencer reid

XLV

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." I mumbled under my breath. We were ready to leave the apartment. Instead of doing that though, I paced around the apartment, chewing my thumbnail as I felt my heart beat violently against my chest. Reid leaned against the wall of the living room, his arms crossed as he looked over at me sadly. I knew he wanted to help, but he wasn't sure how.

It felt like another world war was happening inside my brain. I rubbed my brow bone with my free hand, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth like you were supposed to do to calm yourself down. I couldn't shake the feeling that this whole thing was a mistake, like I was throwing away what truly mattered. Spencer Reid was right in front of me. He was here to stay, to keep me safe and make me happy, but here I was hopping on a plane across the world for some job I wasn't even sure I'd like. I felt selfish and stupid and even though I felt all those things I also felt like running away. After what happened at the BAU I felt embarrassed. I didn't want to be that agent who lost her job because she fell in love with her coworker. It was cliche and demeaning and I knew if I started this new job I could start over.

Reid walked across the room, pulling me tightly into his arms. "We have to go, Isla."

"I know," I breathed, "I know, I just..." I paused, "am I doing the right thing?"

"Yes," he didn't hesitate.

"You're not mad at me?"

"Isla," he shook his head, "I'm not mad at you. We've talked about this. I'm not going to suddenly resent you for taking this job. I love and support you and just want you to be happy."

"You make me happy." I pointed out.

"I know, but you need other things to make you happy too. I can't be the sole purpose of your happiness. That's not healthy."

I frowned, knowing he was right. Helping people made me happy. Working made me happy. I wasn't sure how I felt about London, but the idea of traveling made me pretty happy too. Everything I wanted aside from him was on the other side of plane, even if I didn't want to admit it. "Okay, let's go," I finally concluded.

We grabbed my bags and went out to the car. Reid shoved them in the trunk, ushering me to sit and relax. I listened, sliding into the vehicle before throwing on my seatbelt. I tried to get a glimpse of him through the rear view mirror, unfortunately though, the lid of the trunk was in the way so I sighed and pulled my phone out of my purse. I had about a dozen messages from the team, along with my family saying goodbye and good luck. They'd be piling into my inbox over the last few hours and while I appreciated the sentiment I didn't have the heart to respond yet.

I looked over at Reid as he slid in beside me. He groaned and let out a heavy sigh, taking a couple of seconds before looking over at me and placing his hand on my knee.

"Hurry before I change my mind."

He snorted, listening to my request. Within a minute we were on our way. The road leading to the airport was busier than usual. Reid tried his best to drive quickly to try and avoid as much after work traffic as possible, but eventfully the inevitable happened and we pulled up behind a long line of cars. He let out a sigh, tapping the steering wheel as he scanned the road for possible detours.

"What time is it?" I asked nervously.

"Six-thirty."

I closed my eyes. I felt sick. Only an hour and a half before take off.

Reid reached over and grabbed my hand. "It's gonna be fine." The traffic moved slowly, but eventually we turned off the worst possible road and started moving again. He sped up, switching lines to pass the vehicle in front of him. "Did you know that London is one of the most diverse cities in the world?"