Of Light And Shadows

Chapter Sixteen...

Eventually Jia had to move to use the bathroom. She shimmied out from under Lucifer's arm carefully. His brows twitched but he didn't wake as she moved away from him and climbed off the bed. Standing made her feel like she was on the deck of a heaving ship, but she managed to stay upright and walk to the door without stumbling. She needed to pee and she needed a shower and a change of clothes.

She crept to her room, holding onto the wall to avoid falling over until she was inside. The soft greys and clean lines were welcoming to her tired eyes. Once upon a time she'd wanted to paint the room sunflower yellow. She grinned at the absurdity and headed straight for the ensuite bathroom, glad to have one of her own instead of having to use a communal one.

Jia peeled off her clothes and looked at herself properly in a mirror for the first time in years. Her body was thin from prolonged periods of under-eating. Every one of her ribs was visible under her skin, though she'd managed to avoid getting so thin that it was too noticeable thanks to Mrs Raylen and her supply of sandwiches.

She was still short and slender but her waist was a little too small, her cheekbones a little too sharp. All over her body were mottled purple marks in varying stages of fading, some of them turning an ugly yellow. Her arms and legs were as covered as her torso and guilt surged again as she realised that Lucifer would have the same injuries.

She touched the pact mark on her chest absently, noticing how different it was to Mammon's. Where his was all triangles and sharp edges, Lucifer's was curving lines and swirling patterns. It reminded her of his handwriting somehow, like he'd tattooed his name over her heart.

She stepped into the shower and sat down in it to clean herself, unable to stand up in the heat. Waves of dizziness made the room spin, coming and going while she showered.

She sat there for a long time, running over all the things she'd seen when her memories had come flooding back. She let herself cry over the horror. She let herself feel the fear she'd suppressed for so long. And she let herself feel proud for being able to run away from her father when he'd almost killed her. The empty hole was gone at last, even if it was filled with more pain. She was thankful for that, and thankful to Lucifer for putting himself in harm's way just to help her.

When she was done showering the cool tiles against her arm helped to rouse her. The freezing shock of their touch on her skin pushed away some of the nausea. She was able to drag herself to her feet and switch the shower off with only minimal swaying.

She opened her drawers to find a pair of Belphegor's joggers and one of his shirts and she smiled. He'd obviously realised she had no pyjamas to wear and made Mammon bring them to her while she was elsewhere. She slipped them on, laughing when they drowned her.

She folded the waistband of the joggers over a few times so she wouldn't fall over the bottoms and ran a brush through her hair before heading barefoot back to Lucifer's room, feeling less nauseous than before. The large shirt kept slipping from her shoulder but it smelled like old books and Bell's favourite tea and that made her happy.

Still smiling to herself, she tapped on the door and got no response. She assumed Lucifer was still sleeping and crept in quietly. As the door clicked shut she turned to find the bed empty. She frowned, looking around the room and not finding him anywhere.

As her eyes passed over the door to his ensuite it opened and he stepped out with a towel around his waist, damp hair falling over his forehead and one arm braced against the doorframe to steady himself, a mug clutched in his other hand. He stopped when he saw her and his eyebrows rose in mild surprise.

Beads of water rolled over the contours of his chest, tracking their way down his defined abs and following the edge of the perfect V shape visible above the towel. She'd never seen a body so perfect.