Take 65

Back to You

Things got better over time. Little things here and there. Morgana's favourite dress was purple while Gwen preferred red. Gaius always lost his glasses. Gwaine's really a nobleman. Leon can't stop himself from bursting out laughing anytime anyone mentions poetry (Merlin'll have to ask somebody about that because that seems odd, even for these weird people).

However, the one thing that perplexed him most was the king. Merlin often caught the king staring at him with this strange look in his eye. No matter what Merlin said or did, he wouldn't talk to him for longer than to ask the courteous "how are you" like everyone else. He wouldn't say anything else. Just stared.

Finally, after 3 weeks of this madness, he finally cracked. Merlin marched out to the training field where an irritating armor-clad golden haired confusingly attractive yet cold and abrasive king was mutilating the practice dummies one after another while mumbling to himself.

"Sire." Merlin approached , stopping at about 6 meters behind him.

"Go away." He ordered, not bothering to see who was talking.

"Sire, I really—" Merlin tried again.

"I said go away. I'm not in the mood to talk. Go bother Gwaine or Leon. They'll be able to help you." King Arthur snapped and chopped off another dummy's head, still not realizing who he was talking to.

"Hey, come on, that's enough." Merlin called, unsure why the phrase seemed so familiar.

"What?" The king turned around.

"That dummy's dead. It's had enough."

"No, what did you say." King Arthur demanded, eyes a little wild. "The exact words."

"Hey, come on, that's enough...?" Merlin trailed off, unsure what to do.

"Why did you say that?" The look changed from wild to almost hopeful.

"I don't know, really. It just felt..."

"Right." King Arthur finished.

"Yeah, I guess." Merlin was stumped for a second. Then realization hit him. "Wait, how did you know?"

"That doesn't matter." Just as the moment began, it ended.

"It does. You know something about me. I can see it. So tell me." A step closer.

"No. Go away, Merlin." A step farther.

"No. Just because you're the king doesn't mean you get to keep secrets about me from me." Closer.

"I can and I will." He clipped, attempting to return to destroying hay dummies.

"No. There is a reason you won't look me in the eye and send Guinevere or the Lady Morgana to not so discretely check on me instead of coming yourself. I'm not an idiot, so what is it. You clearly have something you want to say to me."

"I..."

"Are you alright?"

"...no." Shoulders sagged and sword loose in his hand, he looked less like a king and more like a person with a broken heart.

"Can I help...Arthur?" Merlin tested the waters so to speak. If the king erupted, he would stick to formalities. If not, then we'll see how it goes I guess.

- Arthur POV 10 minutes earlier -

It's been 3 weeks since we spoke more than a passing "how are you". I can't do more. I can't look him in the eyes either. I try, god I try but I can't. Every time I'm reminded of that horrible moment when I was left in Gaius's chambers alone with my heart in my hands. So I revert to my basic nature. I destroy. I train. I swing my sword and lop off the heads of innocent dummies because if I'm doing that, I'm not thinking about him. How he died.

"God I'm so pathetic. I can't even say his name." I murmur with another swing and another chop.

"Sire." Someone approaches.

"Go away." They aren't important. No one is.

"Sire, I really—" The person tried again.

"I said go away. I'm not in the mood to talk. Go bother Gwaine or Leon. They'll be able to help you." I lashed out. They didn't deserve that.

"Hey, come on, that's enough." What?

I turned around in disbelief.

"That dummy's dead. It's had enough." It was Merlin!

"No, what did you say." I ordered. "The exact words."

"Hey, come on, that's enough...?" Merlin trailed off.

"Why did you say that?" Was there hope?

"I don't know, really. It just felt..."

"Right." I finished, feeling hopeful for the first time in a while.

"Yeah, I guess. Wait, how did you know?"

"That doesn't matter." Just as the moment began, it ended.

"It does. You know something about me. I can see it. So tell me." He was pushy.

"No. Go away, Merlin." I was pushier.

"No. Just because you're the king doesn't mean you get to keep secrets about me from me."

"I can and I will." I turned around, getting into a proper fighting stance.

"No. There is a reason you won't look me in the eye and send Guinevere or the Lady Morgana to not so discretely check on me instead of coming yourself. I'm not an idiot, so what is it. You clearly have something you want to say to me."

"I..." My resolve falters. I try to look up.

I fail.

"Are you alright?" He asked

"...no." I admitted.

"Can I help...Arthur?"

Arthur. Not sire. Not your highness. Not King Arthur. Just Arthur.

"Heh." I smiled, really smiled. Memories flooded back from all out adventures. "You never did stick to formalities."

"Well I would have if you weren't such a prat." He smiled back.

"What was that word you used?" The air was knocked from my lungs again. This was no coincidence.

"Prat. You're a royal prat. And a dollophead. And a cabbage-head. And a royal ass. And a turnip-head. And a simpleton." He ranted, not once taking a breath. "AND YOU HAVE BEEN IGNORING YOUR HUSBAND FOR THREE WEEKS ARTHUR PENDRAGON. WELL MAYBE I NEEDED YOU. MAYBE I WAS STRUGGLING TOO BECAUSE I HAD JUST COME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND COULD HAVE USED MY HUSBAND TO BE WITH ME EVEN IF I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS YOU!! BECAUSE WHILE YOU WERE SULKING I WAS REMEMBERING THAT YOU ARE A ROYAL ASS AND I LOVE YOU! WHY AM I STILL YELLING AT YOU? I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW! I LOVE YOU!"

"I love you too." I finally looked up. Blue rimmed with gold, just as I remembered. I surged forward pulled him into the tightest embrace. "You came back."

"I'll always come back to you."