Hiraeth | Regulus Black

Chapter Sixty Eight

It turned out that perhaps it wasn't so much fear that had been keeping Esme up at night, but rather perhaps guilt.
After spending time with Regulus in the Hospital Wing, she had accompanied him to dinner and finally confessed the extent to which she had been sneaking about over the summer. Whilst there was still this ever-present fear lingering at the back of Esme's mind, at least she could now get a few hours sleep at night.

Dumbledore had also written to Andromeda and provided her with a safe house for her and her partner to shelter in away from the Death Eater's clutches.
Piper was also sending semi-regular updates on her blossoming relationship with Astra Minchum, who apparently had aspirations of playing for the Holyhead Harpies quidditch team, immediately putting her in the good books of both Regulus and Levi.

It seemed that for a short while, despite the growing darkness in the wider wizarding world, things were running smoothly.
Sometimes Esme felt a few hours passing by where she didn't even think about being a Death Eater, and it was in those short times where she finally started to feel as though she could fit in with everyone else. Despite her hard exterior, that was all she'd ever really wanted.

Regulus, on the other hand, was facing quite an uphill battle. At first, renouncing his family's pureblood supremacist beliefs had been easy.
As time went on though, things began to get more difficult. Regulus had spent his entire life trying to be the perfect son for his parents - for the benefit of both Walburga and Orion, but also Sirius, who faced less pressure when his younger brother was the centre of attention.
Where Sirius and Esme had always put themselves before their families opinions, Regulus hadn't. He had simply adopted whatever persona was required of him to please those around him.
That was why, as now young adults, Sirius and Esme had such strong and refined identities and Regulus sometimes felt rather lost.
He was having to pick apart everything his parents had taught him, and was trying to discover who he really was in the months before a full on war broke out.

It was a good thing Esme was always around, for she always made Regulus feel more comfortable and at ease. Though he didn't quite understand it himself, she somehow gave him the ability to be more confident in himself and see that as long as he tried to be as good as he could, he was worthy of anything.

"I just... I don't know... Are we sure this is entirely safe?" Dirk anxiously twirled his wand between his fingers as he looked around their surroundings.
Levi agreed, "This has got to be one of you worse ideas, Avery. I can believe you convinced me to come out here again."

"Oh would you two stop whining." Esme complained, "If all goes to plan, then it won't matter if this place is dangerous because we'll be able to defend ourselves."

"And until then?" Dirk asked, "I suppose we just risk it, do we?"
She nodded, "Of course."

"Let's get on with it, shall we? Let's not be out here for longer than we have to." Regulus reasoned as he stepped over a rather large tree root which was protruding from the soil. He didn't like being out in the Forbidden Forest anymore than the rest of them, but it was the only place they could find that offered some privacy.

"So..." Esme began, "What's first on the list?"
"Don't look at me." Levi held up his hands, "I didn't bring the list."

"What?"
"Nobody gave it to me!" He explained.
Dirk frowned, "Well who had it last?"
Esme pointed at Levi, "You did, Rogers. That's why I told you to bring it."
"When did you tell me that?" He asked.

"Well..." She thought back, "It was this morning before breakfast so... We were in the common room."
Levi laughed at this, "The Ravenclaw common room? Where I'm not allowed?"

"Ah... Perhaps." She muttered.
"Do you just keep talking when we're not around?" Levi inquired, "Do you even notice when people come and go?"

"Clearly you're just not worth my noticing." Esme retorted bitterly, pulling out her wand as a signal for the conversation to move on.