Seeing You Not Seeing Me (COMPLETE)

XI. insecure and jealous

Despite the incident, the last time Charles visited wherein within that day, Jude couldn't sleep, fearing Mari would realize how much of an asshole he is and leave.

Jude swore he had never let out such a long sigh of relief until he heard Mari knocking on his door that very evening. And in just one snap, there she goes again, with her usual optimism, as if nothing happened.

Jude wanted to apologize but like last time, he was too cowardly to even utter a word, and instead, just let out an embarrassed smile as Mari strolls towards his seat and serves him, filling the silence with her random tales.

Jude knew that he couldn't let this happen again. How he ought not to let his anger get the best of him considering how in the first place, he doesn't know how to apologize.

How Mari set aside her feelings, swallowed her pride, and pretended as if nothing happened completely baffled him.

No doubt, he is amazed at the sweet young woman, but he knows it's not healthy. How she ought to express her feelings too for he is not deserving of her treatment. Nonetheless, since Jude is a coward through and through, he said nothing on that matter.

When Charles visited Jude once more in the following week, Charles persuaded Jude to come with him back to London.

"Come now, Jude, think of all the balls and gals you'll see," uttered Charles, his arms crossed, walking back and forth around the room.

"Even before the accident, I despised social gatherings, what more considering my poor state?"

Jude, sitting in his usual chair, staring at the same old wall, shook his head, as if his decision was final, no use of convincing could ever alter it.

Yet, his dear charming young brother still nagged his dear blind older brother. Charles, who, Jude is sure, hasn't known what it felt like walking on his shoes, the way people stare at you, judge you, whether behind your back or not.

Even before the accident, with Jude's vision and all, that's how the society treated a hideous, not only in appearance but also in trait writer like him, what more a scared thirty-three-year-old blind man who, may we add, is unemployed and lives the hermit life.

He just can't, that's for certain. Jude cannot face society. Imagine the horror, the gasps, the endless gossips, and such he'll welcome as soon as he steps right into London.

All while the brothers are inside the room, quarreling, Mari happens to hear a word or two regarding the conversation, unintentionally, may we remind you.

Knowing how prominent and confidential the issue is, Mari went back downstairs, setting down the tea, sat in the drawing-room, and waited.

Mari was reheating the tea when she realized she still hadn't prepared lunch for Jude. What's worse, she hadn't brought him a bucket of water for washing since Charles arrived very early in the morning, even before his brother woke up.

Hurriedly, she fetches a bucket of water for Jude, knocking, "Master, the water's all ready," she said, carrying the bucket up to the adjacent room then heating it, all while heating it, she grabbed a fresh set of clothes for him.

"Thank you, Mari," Jude replied, nodding, rising from his seat.

With the same speed, she swiftly went downstairs to prepare his lunch. It was almost half an hour later when the meal's ready.

When she got back upstairs to Jude, he was already finished bathing, now sitting in his chair, and by the sound of the door creaking, the sound of her soft footfalls, he lifted his head and smiled in her direction.