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I'm currently lying down wrapped in Ethans arms in our bed.

"What are you thinking?" He asks me

"I'm going to drop out of school" i say and he looks at me

"Really?" He asks and I nod

"I just think that I took on more than I could handle, I just think... I think they were right. Louisa was right. I haven't had chance to grieve and it's just made everything worse if I'm being honest. I'm on medical rest for a reason, they want me to relax and I've done none of that, it's been none stop since I came here and it's done me no good whatsoever" I tell him

"Look, how about we go back after Christmas and if you still don't like it, we can drop out" he says

"We?" I ask

"Your the only person making school bearable for me" he says

"I don't want you to drop out because of me" i say

"Darling, I'm in special forces. I don't need qualifications" he says and I chuckle

"Fair enough"

"Plus, if I do need them. I can always do it online" he says and i nod

"Smort" i say and he laughs

"I just... i don't know" i say half heartedly

"What's up?" He asks me

"Look, I have no qualifications outside of the army. Half, well three quarters of me wants to leave school to go back out there. But the other quarter of me is telling me to stay incase they don't let me come back in the army. I need something to fall back on and I don't know what to do because I'm getting so stressed about it. And I had everyone at school because of everything that's happened to you and with Azizi and I just-"

"I'm going to stop you right there darling" Ethan says sitting up and I sit up as well

"You can do anything you set your mind to, you are capable of anything. You are just too mature for being at school and I think it's a culture shock for you, we both joined early as we have just matured quicker then everyone our age due to the seriousness of our occupation" he says

"Your used to the routine and structure but it's taken you so long to unwind because you have never taken a break from the army when you needed to and I think that is why your overthinking everything because it's starting to weigh down on you. It's not helped now that you are on your break that everything has happened all at once but it's over now and you have to try to relax" he tells me

He grabs my hand, " I get it, Eden I do. We're on alert all the time but you have to trust me and others around you to keep you safe instead of you keeping everyone else safe. You need to relax and unwind or the stress is just going to build up. So here's what we're going to do, we are both going to go to school. We are going to finish this year get our qualifications, and we are going back out there because we love our jobs" he tells me

"I'm going to help you through this Eden because you need to realise that you can't do everything on your own. I also i how how hard it it for you to open up new people because your already so close to your section because they have become your family. But they aren't here right now and you need that support group with you, your family is right here Eden. You have a lot of people here who care about you, if only you could bloody see it" he says

"God I love you" i say giving him a quick kiss

"I love you too" he says, "now if you love me you'll give me more than a peck"

"I don't know, I think you need to give me a reason to" i say and he raises his eyebrows

"Really?" He asks teasingly

"Hmmm" I hum

"Looks like I'm going to have to come to you then" he says moving over towards me and he pushes me down on the bed and I giggle.

This is going to be a long night.

____________________________________

Authors note: hi! I just want to say thank you for all the support I've been getting!

I would like to tell you that I'm starting college tomorrow so I don't know how free I'll be to update but I can guarantee that I will keep updating, if I'm really busy it will only be twice a week instead of every other day. I'll let you all know about updating next week when I've had more than two days in college!

Thank you again for all the support! 💙

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