"This moment is as it should be." -Deepak Chopra
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Excerpt from Micah's notebook:
Eli
He was a wreck. A mess of sand colored curls erupting out of his skull, he strode up to me one day, his eyebrows heavy, dark, and angled in perpetual severity. His long dark coat, ridiculous, billowing out behind him making his small angular frame oddly imposing.
Instantly I was in love.
The walls of his bedroom were still pale blue, and the curtains had blue elephants sewn along the hems, ghosts of what was once a nursery. He thrust a book beneath my nose, his finger pressed against a highlighted passage.
I read the passage like it may have been the secret to the universe. In truth, I have no idea what it said, even today. I read every single thing he gave to me, I read them the way a starving man eats scraps of food, like my life depended on it.
He kissed me.
I couldn't get enough of him. He was confident, charismatic, he had me wrapped effortlessly around a finger. I felt as though my head was stuffed with pink cotton candy clouds, and I never cared. He was the most potent drug.
He was nicotine. Within 3 months, I was addicted. At night, I'd lay in bed, my brain on fire. I didn't have a word for it. I checked the locks every 10 minutes, checked the windows every 5. I left every light on, I drew every curtain. I stopped eating, and I stopped sleeping. I spent night after night combing his instagram, all his followers instagrams, all their followers instagrams. I discovered he had never dated a guy before me. I found his ex-girlfriends, I found out everything about them.
On the morning of the 4th month, I became convinced he was cheating on me.
He was in the bathroom when I saw the strangest thing lying on one of his many tables. A silver knife, no, a dagger, gleaming in the lamplight. I gazed at it mesmerized for many minutes, until he returned.
There was a leather case lying beside the blade, like he'd taken it out and placed it on the table. Intentionally. Suddenly, I couldn't shake the sensation that he'd wanted me to see it.
Eli lifted the silver dagger from the table and twirled it effortlessly in his hand. The urge to flee the room was suddenly unbearable, in fact, my knees twitched involuntarily and his hand clutching the dagger moved just a fraction as well, and we both saw it.
I couldn't leave the room right then. And I had no excuse either, I had no parent to blame for my need to leave, and he knew that.
He knew that I was alone.
YOU ARE READING
The Way This Feels
Teen FictionWill Young is shy. He wears all black, and he would rather live in his thoughts than in the real world. Micah Simon-Anders falls in love way too easy. He's loud, and larger than life. Everyone in town knows him from his for-no-reason-at-all wildly...
