No Harm List | BTS Mafia AU

Adderall

A/N: warning the following chapter details y/n using and abusing adderall. I personally have an Adderall perscription but have struggled with medication abuse and addiction in the past. More info at the end of the chapter I just wanna make it clear, I am in no way romanticizing drugs or substance abuse nor do I condone taking medications you have not been prescribed!

DONT DO DRUGS KIDS

Six hours later you had showered, cleaned up your apartment, and slept like Jimin ordered. And you must admit, you were feeling loads better.

You were starting to entertain the idea of twenty minute study breaks every two hours to avoid a burn out when you heard a knock at the door.

"Oh. hey!" You greeted, surprised to see Taehyung at your door.

"I didn't wake you,did I? Jimin said you were expecting me," Taehyung offered.

"Oh, yeah of course!" You greeted, hating the way your whole demeanor lit up at the prospect of adderall.

"I brought coffee," He said, offering you the iced beverage. You smiled, thanking him for it though you didn't need it once you got the pill in your system.

"Anything else?" You asked, trying to keep your voice casual.

Taehyung shot you a look before sighing, "Didn't I give you enough last week?" He asked.

"Yeah, enough to get me through last week, I still have 5 more days of this hell," You tried your hardest not to make your words sound clipped. "C'mon, Tae, I'm a paying customer, since when do you put a limit on these things?"

Tae sighed, "You're not just a customer El, you're my friend. I'm worried."

The look in his eyes made you hesitate, perhaps you were overdoing it with the adderall. But it made studying like this easier. It sharpened your attention, kept you awake and killed your appetite. The pill helped you reach your productivity dreams. And how could you feel guilty for using a drug when it helped you accomplish so much? It wasn't like you were using it as an escape or abusing it. You used it to maximize your potential.

And so do athletes on steroids. It's dishonest and wrong.

Another part of your brain criticized.

Taehyung sent you one last glance before reaching in his pocket and pulling out a small ziplock bag with the blue pills.

"I'm knocking you down to 10mg and you're only getting 10." He said like he was warning a child.

10 pills. The pills stayed active in your system for roughly 4 hours, that gave you 8 hour of productivity a day. You would have to ration them, and use coffee as a placebo to fill the time in between.

You weren't medically ADHD so you didn't need the meds to take your exams. They were better used to help you focus on studying and keeping you in the zone, but you would have to be mindful of your schedule throughout the week to be sure to maximize them in the hours between your tests.

Okay, perhaps you were developing a bit of a problem.

You handed Taehyung the cash with a smile.

"I promise, this should be the last of it for me." You said with a smile, knowing it was most likely a lie with grad school starting in just two weeks.

He sent you a tight lipped smile in return, probably thinking the same.

It was in that moment that you really took him in. How exhausted and defeated he looked.

You were too tired and caught up in your own misery this morning you didn't notice the dark bags under his eyes. The strain in his shoulders as if he was forcing himself to stand up right.