His Name: MERLIN

7: Another Lifetime Ago

I don't own Merlin, or BBC. Or Hollywood. Or the world.

Trigger warning for some torture and for some sexual themes.

  "Again with- with the whip?" I asked between panting. She grabs me by the face, nails digging in once more.
  "Why don't you fear me Merlin? I torture you, steal your sight, and imprison your precious king. Yet here you are, bloody and smiling at me like you know something I don't. What is it? Why don't you just break?" She tightens her hold and I feel blood run down my cheek.
  "Because I believe in something you refuse to accept: Arthur is the Once and future king. He is destined to unite these lands in peace, and I have hope in that. I trust in the king he is and will be, and I-" I wasn't expecting the dagger she kept at her side to suddenly slash across my bare chest. I cry out, immediately hating myself for it. I'd worked so hard to stay quiet so that Gwaine and Arthur wouldn't hear me. I don't want them worrying more than they already are.
  "Unchain him. I'm tired of dealing with this stupidity!" She sits down on a rough-looking stone throne as one of her goons come to unchain me. The giant of a man smirks down at me with a dark twinkle in his eyes, slowly unlocking the shackles as his eyes travel over my body. I've never felt more exposed, even as he pulls my ripped shirt back over my head. Morgana watches, looking vaguely amused.
  "You know, I mentioned that you were unfamiliar with a woman's touch, but I'm honestly a bit shocked how unfamiliar you are to the touch of a man as well, especially with how close you are with my brother." She chuckles and stands up to lead us back towards the cell, while the creepy guard grabs me by the arm to drag me back with him. Everything hurts. My back, my chest, and my arm where the creep is holding me far tighter than he needs to. We get to the cell and the man shoves me inside, causing me to fall in a heap on the floor. He takes a second to give me one last look, lingering over certain areas for far too long. I crawl back between Gwaine and Arthur, barely noticing they weren't bothering to chain me up.
  "Well, have you thought about my questions?" Morgana asks in a cold tone, looking at Arthur, then down at me.
  "What did you do to him?" Arthur's voice is laced with a thousand threats, and I'm sure if I could look up at him that his eyes would be like ice.
  "Hmm? Oh nothing really. A few lashes and a small cut. I barely had any fun at all! But I hope for his sake that you decided to tell me what I want to know." She closes the cell door and waves cheerily. "I'll be back in a few hours for my information! Otherwise poor Merlin there will be a bit worse for wear."
  With that threat, she and her goon leave, not even bothering to post another guard. The moment the door slams in the distance, they're both bombarding me with questions. I smile and shrug off most of them.
  "I'm okay. She-was actually telling the truth. They gave me a couple lashes and cut me, but nothing serious," I brush it off, smiling as if I wasn't in excruciating pain.
  "That's all? That guy was pretty...well...interested in you, Merlin," Gwaine points out hesitantly. I nod.
  "Yeah, that's all. Morgana thought that was-was pretty funny. She was even making jokes that she was shocked that I wasn't used to-to attention from men," I force a chuckle. "Not the first person to assume I-I don't fancy women." I try to relax a bit, laying down on my side since my chest and back hurt.
  "Hey that's right. That's a great way to keep our thoughts out of this cell! Merlin, we tried asking you before we got ambushed: do you fancy anyone?" Gwaine asked, hoping to distract everyone with stories. I readjust to get comfortable, pulling at the back of my shirt a bit as I feel blood run down my chest.
  "Well I HAD hoped the whole getting captured and chained up in-in a cell by a crazy witch would buy me some time out of-this conversation," I say only half joking, struggling to catch my breath. "I've fancied plenty of people though." Arthur looks very skeptical.
  "Name three then, if you're such a romantic!" He grins, confident I won't be able to do so. I shrug, then regret that immediately at the instant pain shooting through my body. Despite that, I nod and think for a moment.
  "One...her name wouldn't mean anything to you. There was also um. Well. Gwen." Arthur's eyes widen at my words so I quickly move on. "And for a while actually, sort of, kinda Morgana," I admit, glancing down at the ground. They both laugh at that, and Arthur jokes that any such feelings were probably short-lived after she tried killing us the first time. Unfortunately, Gwaine is a bit more perceptive.
  "Merlin, mate, you said that first one, you said her name wouldn't mean anything to us. Who is she? Don't we know her?" Arthur quits his teasing to listen, apparently interested in my answer as well.
  "You never met her. She wasn't in Camelot for very long," I try to avoid the question, gently putting my hand over the cut to try to stop the bleeding.
  "You didn't introduce us? Why not? Where's she living now?" Gwaine asks excitedly, determined to hear more. Arthur must have noticed when I  winced at that last question.
  "Merlin? You aren't telling us something about her. What happened? Did she break your heart? Do you want me to exile her?"
  "No, no, no, none of that," I say a bit exasperatedly. I lean my head back to look at the mossy stone ceiling. "You can't exile the dead, clotpole," I explain softly, keeping my eyes on the ceiling. Neither of them say anything for a couple seconds as they take in this information.
  "Oh. Merlin, mate, I'm sorry...I wish I coulda met her though. Didn't you wanna let us meet her?" Gwaine sounds a little hurt, probably thinking that I was embarrassed of them.
  "Don't be dumb," I smile a little. "I couldn't introduce you. Arthur wouldn't have been too thrilled about it." I glance at them both, then down at the floor. It's not like I'm telling them about my magic. Besides, this could be a good way to gauge Arthur's reaction.
  "And why is that?" Arthur interrupts my thoughts rather cautiously. I sigh and remind myself that this is a good way to test the waters. Yeah. Sure. Test the waters. Test them to see if they're deep enough to drown me in. I shake off the thoughts and finally look up again.
  "Well, she was kind of a Druid."