His Name: MERLIN

8: A Caged Lion Can't Help but Go Mad

Nope. Still don't own Merlin. But one can dream.
Trigger warning for violence.

  "What do you mean she was KIND OF a Druid?!?" Arthur fumes, and I'm actually grateful for the shackles he's got on. "How can someone be KIND OF a Druid, Merlin? Hm? Tell me that!"
  "Okay fine! She was a Druid," I admit, looking away as I feel pain as sharp as Morgana's knife stabbing me in the heart. "She was a Druid. And she was perfect. Beautiful, and brave, and caring. We were gonna-" I have to stop, taking a steadying breath and standing up. The pain is agonizing from the movement, but I can't just sit there. I can't focus on the loss. I was an idiot to tell them.
  "You were gonna what, mate?" Gwaine asks curiously, stretching one arm so he can lean closer to nudge me. I give him a weak smile, thinking back to roses, strawberries, dresses, cells, and when I showed her my magic. I wipe my face as I feel a tear escape.
  "Um, just- just go find somewhere peaceful. A little house with a couple cows....we were gonna live by a lake. So she wouldn't have to be afraid or run from anyone ever again. Where no one would hurt her." I sort of laugh, wiping my eyes again. "That didn't really work out, as you can see." Arthur stays quiet for a few seconds before finally asking THE question.
  "What happened to her?" He looks at me with a mix of wariness and sympathy. I shake my head, and he raises an eyebrow at me. "You can't just shake your head, idiot. Tell us, what happened?"
  I almost responded without thinking by saying "you", but luckily I stopped just in time.
  "She was killed. Being a Druid with magic, especially misunderstood magic, is a death warrant in Camelot," I explain in barely above a whisper. Suddenly I fall back, a wave of magic pinning me to the wall.
  "Pathetic! You let the woman you loved be killed and stood by and did NOTHING!" Morgana shouts from the cell door. "You could have sided with me, supported me, supported HER, but no. Instead you side with the man who would continue the slaughter of people JUST like her-"
"SHUT UP!" I shout, glaring at the woman who would dare doubt my love for the only person I would've given up my destiny for. "Don't you dare assume to know anything, you cannot begin to understand! All that Arthur did, he did for the good of his people!" I can feel all their stares locked on me.
  "I killed her?" Arthur asks it so quietly I almost didn't hear him. I close my eyes, then nod slightly.
  "You didn't know. I don't blame you Arthur," I begin, only to be interrupted by Morgana again.
  "He knows exactly what he's doing! Just like Uther did! I had to hide my magic. I had to pretend it didn't exist. I lived every day terrified of what would happen if he found out I had dreams that told the future. Things would randomly catch fire! You can't begin to imagine what I've been through!" She unlocks the door and comes to stand in front of me, looking wild and deadly. I wonder once again if I could have saved her by being a better friend, but try not to dwell on that.
  "Morgana, you were a being of power and magic being forced to live like you were weak. You were a lioness forced to play the part of a house cat. You lived in a cage of gold and emeralds, but it was still a cage. But instead of finding a way to escape that cage and live in freedom, you let the loneliness and darkness corrupt you, consume you. Magic didn't make you evil, your own bitter hatred did. Arthur killed the love of my life, yet I trust him to bring about Albion. And I will follow him proudly." I tell her without hesitation.
  "Oi me too! I will too! Right on mate," Gwaine agrees wholeheartedly. I'd been trying to reach some part of Morgana that was still herself, but any hope of that happening was gone the second she grabbed her knife again. I pull back as much as I can, still pinned to the wall.
  "Morgana leave him alone! Please, just leave him alone!" I'm surprised to hear Arthur pleading now, and so is Morgana. She shakes it off quicker though.
  "I will rule a land with magic. Powerful magic. Camelot will be the capital for the old religion. I will revive the beliefs you tried to erase!" She shouts, cutting my shirt open with a twisted smile. She carves a symbol into my chest with focused precision. If I wasn't so busy trying not to pass out from pain I would laugh at the irony. Unfortunately, even her carving a triskellion into the chest of the king of the Druids wasn't enough to keep me from crying out, biting my tongue so hard all I can taste is blood. She eventually finishes and I'm vaguely aware of Gwaine screaming curses at her. She says something about being back soon to get the answers to those questions, and at some point I hear a door slam. I don't know when I collapsed to the ground, but I'm staring at the ceiling now, laying on my now bare back, the cold stone floor sending a chill down my spine. Or is that because of the hand sliding down my arm? Wait what?! I look to my side and see Morgana's goon leaning over me, smirking as he holds out a cup.
  "Water? Come on sit up for me, I don't bite. Much." He pulls me up into a sitting position, but I try to pull away from him.
  "I don't know what you want from me, but-but just leave me alone. You're probably trying to poison me," I mumble, tipping over a bit. I can hear Arthur saying something, but his voice sounds foggy and far away. The man frowns a moment, tightening his grip on my arm until I'm grunting from the pain.
  "Listen, here I am trying to be a nice guy and help you. I didn't say I wanted anything. I mean, I take trades, but you're not even being polite," he accuses, still holding onto my arm too tightly. Apparently I didn't answer quickly enough, because then he stands and goes to Arthur. "I believe this should be fun, I've never beaten a king before." My heads shoots up so fast I get dizzy.
  "Don't you put a finger on him. I swear by all that is, if you hurt him you will WISH Morgana had fed you to a dragon," I growl out at him, managing to pull myself up to my hands and knees. He smirks at me and tilts his head a bit 
  "Hmm, that position suits you." Without warning, he slams a clenched fist into Arthur's gut, causing him to gasp, though I couldn't be sure over Gwaine shouting at him. He managed to swing on the shackles and kick the man, knocking him a few steps back. I stand up, using the wall to support my weight with one hand while holding my bleeding wound with the other.
  "I said not to put a finger on him," I remind coldly, all pretense of serving boy now gone. I am meant to protect the Once and Future King, and I will not let this pathetic excuse for a man harm this destiny. The dead man walking laughs, and I smile back. I can feel Arthur and Gwaine staring at me; this isn't the Merlin they know. I know they're confused, and I can practically hear their questions. I take a shaky step towards the guard, still smiling, and he begins looking more uncertain.
  "I think you should leave now. Tell the witch I'm ready to answer one question."
  "Merlin, don't be an idiot-" Arthur begins, but I hold up a bloody hand to silence him.
  "What question is that, bastard?" The man is trying to sound confident but I can tell he's wavering. I move even closer, now only inches away from him and looking up into his wide green eyes.
  "Where is Emrys?" The man stumbles back, looking at the three of us in shock before rushing out of the cell, slamming the door and running to get his mistress. When I hear the second door close I can't help the groan of pain I've been trying to suppress as I collapse to the ground again.
  "Merlin? Merlin what did you do? Who is Emrys? What's going on?" Arthur pelts me with questions as I try to find a comfortable spot against the wall, bracing my shoulder against the stone as I try to assess the damage I've sustained.
  "Arthur, I'm sorry. Everything has been for you. I swear on my life, on the life of my mother, and on Freya's grave. It's only been for you." I tell him seriously, trying to push away the sadness that claws at my heart. I don't want him to hate me. I really don't. But I need to get him out of here before they hurt him.
  "Mate what are ya going on about?" Gwaine asks, looking completely lost. "Who's this Emrys bloke that scared that goon off?"
  "The most powerful sorcerer-well, warlock, to ever walk the face of the earth," I explain hesitantly. Immediately Arthur is yelling about how I harbored a magic user and that I could be in serious trouble for that, but I don't say anything. Instead I simply look up at him, locking eyes with the furious blue gaze. He freezes and goes dead silent as my eyes change to gold and the shackles fall, leaving them both free.
  "I'm sorry Arthur. All I ever did was for you."