Touch Her And... (Completed)

Chapter 43

Ritwik

"I cannot bear this pain. I cannot see him with anyone else. It hurts."

"Please wake up.. say something. How could you all do this to me.. why?"

God! What the hell is happening to me? Why did I follow her upstairs? It wasn't at all necessary.

I vowed to hate her. Vowed to never bother myself with any of this shit. But here I am standing outside her room, listening to her sobbing breathlessly. And hating myself for behaving like a creep.
She can do whatever, cry herself to death. Why should I care?

I turned around and left.

I was nearing my room when i heard a commotion coming from Dev's room. I peeped in and there he was hovering over Martha. I immediately turned my face in disgust.

I don't know why? I have had lots of bed time experiences with Martha and I don't know how many others . I have always known myself to be the disgusting one. But seeing him doing the same somehow made me nauseous.

I saw him that day. I saw how he was holding her like she is the air he breaths.

Then what changed? What made him change his mind so drastically? There has to be something. Something that I am not able to see through. But trust me Dev I'll find out. After all I am a curious man.
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The day passed by like that but the restlessness never stopped. The disbelief I saw in her eyes made me uncomfortable. Her words kept on echoing, making it impossible for me to fall asleep. I jumped out of the bed. The sweat drops covered my forehead. I ran my hand all over my face and took a deep breath.

"You hate her Ritwik. Why do I need to keep reminding you this simple fact everyday!" I yelled on myself. Standing up I started moving towards the washroom.

After splashing enough water to collect myself back I placed both of my hands on the bathroom counter and looked into the mirror.

Yes, we look so identical that it irritates me sometimes. The dark brown hair, the straight nose, the heavy lower lips, the sharp jawline even the arched eyebrows. Thank hell that at least the eye colors are different.

Getting out of the washroom I saw the clock, it ticked 3:50 AM. But sleep has left me long back. So I pulled over my black hoody and grey sweat pants. I need to go out to inhale some fresh air.

I closed the door and started getting down. But I was wrong to think that I was the only one who couldn't sleep.

Her hair was messy, she covered herself in a cherry red woolen shawl. She very silently reached for the door and opened it.  It was still dark outside.

I hurried down and the words came out of my mouth without my consent.

"And where do you think you are going at 3.50 AM in the morning?" I asked startling her. She slowly turned around.
And what I saw made my heart clench with pain.

Her eyes were swollen and hopeless. The spark that I saw was gone. The eye bags under them were too prominent to ignore. She opened her mouth to say something but didn't. She slumped her shoulders down as if she is too tired too explain and started walking back inside like a robot.

"I-I was going out to get some fresh air, if you want you can join me. J-just do not.. go out alone." I said surprising my own self and closed my eyes for the inevitable rejection of my proposal.
I sighed.

But then I heard the soft footsteps retreating back and moving towards the main door again. I opened my eyes and looked over my shoulder. She kept looking down but nevertheless she accepted my proposal. A small smile crept across my face.

What the fuck is happening to me?

Dev

The shock, the heartbreak I saw on her face was enough to bury me alive at that very spot. But I have no other options. The more she comes closer to me the more I'll bring down the destruction.

She needs to stay away from me, she has to stay away from me. There is nothing more important than her safety.

I told Martha about everything but she keeps on dragging it too far. She knew I don't like anyone inside my room and even after my warnings she got in without my permission, without even knocking.

"Isn't it one of my rights to touch you now? You are going to be my husband soon Dev." She said after barging into my room suddenly.
God! How I hate her. When the hell is  she going to understand that?

"See Martha, while I was giving you this proposal I was surely clear enough to explain that this is just another deal for me. The day we get married we sign the contract till the time Teressa settles  down and then the deal is off. You'll be handsomely paid for it financially but not emotionally or physically." I said as rudely as possible. But like the despo she is she had to push me down on the bed. And she didn't know what she invited in.

"Don't you dare Martha!" I whispered menacingly while immediately turning her over and placing her under me. I don't know what possessed me because I don't prefer hurting women but she kept on playing with my nerves and without even thinking I gripped her throat and pinned her down on the bed till her eyes started tearing up and she strived to get some air into her lungs. And I so loved seeing her that way. It was peaceful.

"DON'T . EVER. DARE. TO . TOUCH .ME!" I growled while releasing her throat. She immediately stood up and ran out of the room. Pathetic!

The day seemed too long for me. And when I reached the lunch table everyone decided to avoid talking to me or even looking at me. All of them were disappointed. And I knew it will happen from the beginning.

My eyes kept on searching for her. I know I have hurt her so bad that she might never show up infront of me ever again . But I just wanted to make sure that she was okay.

I waited and waited but she didn't show up. Finally I couldn't control it anymore.

"Where is Teressa?" I asked Pratima ji  who was alone and cleaning the table.

"She is inside her room. She wanted to have her lunch there and I found that totally convincing." She said without looking at my face.

I bit my lip in frustration and said,
"Fine then."
I was about to leave when she said again.

"Why did you do this Dev?" Pratima ji's voice was filled with so much disappointment that it pained me to lie on her face.

"Did you really think there could be anything between us? She is just not my type Pratima ji. She has nothing interesting in her. She bores me. S-so I.. found myself a better option." I blurted out the lies without even realizing that a tiny figure was standing right behind me.

The sound of gasping from Pratima ji drew my attention and a suppressed sob greeted me when I turned around.

Her husky eyes were filled with tears. I scarred the innocence in them. The hurt the pain it displayed was shattering me down to the core.

What the fuck have I done!

Before i could say another word she ran towards the stairs. I so wanted to run behind her, to hold her tightly in my arms, to say her I never meant a word, to tell her that I die thousands deaths every time I make her cry but my resolve was stronger.

It was for her good. For giving her a better future. She can hate me as much as she wants but she needs to stay away from the danger that is me.
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'Sleep'.. I have forgotten what it meant.   The pain I was causing her, I needed to pay for that. God knows I was paying for that every fucking day.

But was she having a sound sleep? Hell, I knew she isn't. I made her life a mess, a fucking mess! I hate myself for that.

But I needed to see what she was doing.

Putting on the white t-shirt I left my room in search of the slightest peace I might acquire.

But what I saw burned me from inside!