night after night (camren)

38.

So unbelievably much. . . in every single way.

......

All Lauren's control unravelled in a second as her skin heated, and her heart beat faster, pounding against her chest with the aching want to have Camila in her arms again. Resistance was futile, so she banged out a reply, saved it in her drafts, and told herself she'd see if she still felt the same way that night. When the work day ended, she went to the gym to pound the punching bag until her shoulders were as sore as they'd ever been.

On the way home, she pulled out her phone, open her drafts and made a decision.

. . .

from: ljauregui@gmail.com
to: oldfashioned@gmail.com
date: April 18, 5:23 PM
subject: Which brings us back to. . .

So why then? Why did you leave?

from: oldfashioned@gmail.com
to: ljauregui@gmail.com
date: April 18, 8:48 PM
subject: Truth

I was afraid.

from: ljauregui@gmail.com
to: oldfashioned@gmail.com
date: April 18, 11:24 PM
subject: Truth is good

Of what?

from: oldfashioned@gmail.com
to: ljauregui@gmail.com
date: April 19, 2:03 AM
subject: It can be. . .

Of getting close.

from: ljauregui@gmail.com
to: oldfashioned@gmail.com
date: April 19, 7:48 AM
subject: Re: It can be. . .

Don't be afraid.

from: oldfashioned@gmail.com
to: ljauregui@gmail.com
date: April 19, 11:19 AM
subject: Re: Re: It can be. . .

But I am.

from: ljauregui@gmail.com
to: oldfashioned@gmail.com
date: April 19, 5:59 PM
subject: Promise

I won't hurt you.

from: oldfashioned@gmail.com
to: ljauregui@gmail.com
date: April 19, 10:03 PM
subject: Promises. promises

That's easy to promise. Hard to deliver.

from: ljauregui@gmail.com
to: oldfashioned@gmail.com
date: April 19, 11:08 PM
subject: Question

Are you going to let the fear control you?

Good question.

Was she going to let Austin control every aspect of her life? Right now, from his perch in the back table of the restaurant, he stared at her like she was a gnat on the bottom of his shoe, and that was after she'd given him his money. The stack was flimsier than usual, but at least she'd won some.

"Get out of here" Austin said to her in a cold, calculating voice, "you tire me because you take too long"

"I won for you tonight" she pointed out, but then, what was the point? Austin was in a nasty mood, and maybe it had to do with her, or maybe it had to do with another one of his pawns underperforming.

"Hardly. This is hardly enough" he said, fanning out the thin stack in her face, smacking her on the nose with the bills. She flinched, surprised money could wound that much.

As she left the Pizza restaurant, nearly bumping into a man with a well-lined face and sad eyes who stared longingly at the sign for the restaurant, she pondered all the fear in her life. She was afraid of Austin, of the veiled threats of him hurting her, hurting Ally, and taking more and more of her business until he was satisfied. Though men like him never had their fill, did they? She was scared for her best friend, and wanted desperately to protect Dinah's hard-won happiness with Normani. Most of all she was terrified of screwing up. What if she couldn't win the rest of the money? Would she be in Austin's clutches forever? Time was running out, and she pictured him snapping the chains on her forever somehow, so she'd never ever escape from him.