The Greatest Scam He Ever Pulled

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"This is just too perfect!" Bill exclaimed. "Didn't you braniacs know the zodiac doesn't work unless you all join hands?" In your peripheral vision, you watched Ford and Stan exchanged weary glances. You took a step back from your place on the circle and looked up at Bill. 

"And what's better, you've brought every threat to my power together in one easy to destroy circle!" With a wave of his hands, flames showered down on you like rain, lighting fire to the floor beneath you. As the flames bit hungrily into the zodiac, rendering it useless, a bright red, stringlike substance wrapped itself around your body like a vine. It snapped, tightening its hold, and tugged upward. With every ounce of energy you had left, you thrashed about wildly, but you were pulled into Bill's grasp regardless of your efforts. 

"You wanna see what happens to your friends when you can't get along?" Bill asked jovially. With a snap of his fingers, you watched in horror as their bodies vibrated, then went unnervingly limp. Devoid of any life, they were reduced to nothing more than flags, hung proudly on display. From your viewpoint, your blood ran cold. Bill had left the kids alone. 

"Looks like it's too late for your friends, Stanford!" 

Blue barriers rose from the ground, rising in scale as they enveloped the kids in a cage. 

"But you can still save your family! Last chance! Tell me how to take Weirdmageddon global, and I'll spare the kids!" Bill narrowed his eye at Ford with disdain. Your blood began to boil in your veins, a dangerous fire when left to burn.

"No, don't do it!" Dipper shouted out. 

"Yeah, Bill makes bad deals!" Mabel agreed. Your heart stopped beating when Bill turned around and hovered closer to the children. "Don't you toy with me, shooting star!" he warned. "I. SEE. EVERYTHI- OW! NOT AGAIN! WHY? EVERYTIME!" Bill rubbed furiously at his eye, and you couldn't help the joyous laughter that escaped you. Stan had taught her well. 

"Ha! Nice shot, pumpkin!" Stan called to her. Before you could agree and offer similar praise, the string holding you captive unraveled, sending you, Ford, and Stan to the ground. As the cage rose in size and the kids jumped out, you paused. Dread filled your stomach.

"Save yourselves!" Dipper yelled. "Run! We'll take care of Bill!"

"No!" You shouted.

"That's a suicide mission!" Ford exclaimed, right at the same time. 

Dipper's conviction couldn't be wavered. "Trust us! We beat him before!"

"And we can beat him again!" Mabel waved her grappling hook with a flourish. She turned around. "Hey, Bill! Come and get us, you pointy jerk!"

Bill's yellow shade changed to a fiery red within seconds. 

"No! It's too dangerous!" Ford shouted. You took a stride forward before you suddenly found that you were unable to breathe. 

"Not so fast! You three wait here!" Bill dropped you into a similar cage Dipper and Mabel were confined in seconds ago. He bounced back and took on a form you had only seen in your nightmares. He seemed to have tripled in size, sprouting new limbs and three new tongues. He was bright red, his eye a horrid shade of black. "I HAVE SOME CHILDREN I NEED TO MAKE INTO CORPSES." Bill turned and stared down at you. "SEE YOU REAL SOON."

You ran to the bars and slammed your fists on them, pulling and pushing to no avail. "KIDS!" you wailed, high-pitched and deranged. "KIDS!"

But it made no difference, and Bill clambered away, chasing after two twelve-year-olds armed with nothing but a grappling hook, a bottle of spray paint, and a size-altering flashlight. 

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