Rock, Paper, Scissors

28: The Truth

Trigger Warning

This chapter might trigger sensitive audiences as it contains content about suicide.

Sometimes things can seem awful like there's no good in the world, no hope. But that's not true, there's always hope and something positive, we just need to look at it from another perspective.

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Chapter 28: The Truth

"Come on," he said, and I followed him. He took me to some stairs I had never noticed before. We went up the stairs until we reached a closed metal door. Nick rummaged through his pockets until he found what he was looking for: a key. He used it to unlock the door, opening it to let light and cold air wash over me.

"You seemed like you could use some air, so," he said, gesturing me to pass before him.

I could see the whole city from here, the sky was clear, the fresh breeze was softly caressing my skin. Feeling like I could finally breathe again, I took a deep breath, but then the fact that we were on the school's rooftop brought back all of the memories and feelings. It was too much, I couldn't stop it, and so the tears started falling uncontrollably as if I had been storing them until they overflowed my eyes.

I didn't want to cry, I thought I was stronger than that, four years is a long time after all. I covered my face with my hands, trying to make it stop, hiding it, but that only made things worse. I started trembling, sobbing, and sniffing.

"Shit! Why are you crying? What's wrong? Don't cry, fuck, I'm sorry." I had completely forgotten he was there and for some stupid reason his words, his plead, only made me cry more.

I looked up, sweeping away the tears even though they wouldn't stop coming out. "I– I'm sorry, I–"

"Shh, you don't need to say anything," Nick said, almost whispering as he came closer and opened his arms. He stood there, with his arms open, clearly uncomfortable and not sure what to do next, until he unexpectedly closed them around me, engulfing me in a warm hug.

"Just let it out," he said to my ear, stocking my back. And I did.

Once I had exhausted all of my tears I tried to explain myself, in-between sobs, "I just–" I sighed one last time before opening my heart to him, and tell him everything.

"I was his best friend, and he was mine," I started. "Hell, that's probably not true." I let out a dry laugh. "If he was my best friend, I would have noticed he was struggling with something. If I was his, then he surely would have told me what was going on, he would have confided in me instead of..." I felt more tears menacing to come out, so I stopped. I stopped and took another deep shaky breath. I slowly pulled away and I immediately regretted it, missing Nick's warmth. "I'm sorry"

"For what? Having a bad day? You're really something." He let out a chuckle. "I realize I'm probably the last person you'd want to share this with, but I'm here for you if you need. I'll hear you out and comfort you and buy you as many chocolate bars you want," he said earnestly. "Take the key, keep it, and come here whenever you want, whenever you need." He took my hand and placed the key in it, closing my hand with his.

"Thanks. I don't think I'll need it though. It's just that this brings back a lot of memories and not the good ones," I explained.

"Fuck that then. We'll make new ones to replace those, with Micah, and Noah, and even Tyler if you're feeling patient enough." I laughed at that and nodded. "You don't need to answer but what you said about your best friends... Is this why you were so keen on knowing what was going on with Micah and me? You didn't want to repeat whatever happened before, right?"