The Sin of Him

23

I wake up a few hours later to a still dark hotel room. My eyes are still exhausted but when I feel around for Roman, he isn't next to me.

I sit up in the bed, glancing down at my appearance and seeing that I'm now in some of Roman's sweatpants and shirt. A small smile grows on my face at the thought of him making sure I'm comfortable.

I turn my head and see Roman staring outside our hotel room window, out into the nighttime city of Chicago.

I take a second to admire him before he realizes I'm awake. He's shirtless and wearing similar sweatpants to the ones I have on. My eyes trace the tattoos that run down his arms and chest, the uniqueness of them always filling me with awe, and the muscles in his arms flexing as he seems to be thinking hard about something. He also looks freshly showered, his hair still wet and I see a small droplet of water dripping from his hair and onto his cheek.

I think he senses me staring because his head turns and we lock eyes, concern growing on his face as he rounds the bed to sit in front of me.

His hand places itself on my thigh and his expression tells me exactly what he's going to ask.

"Are you okay?" He asks, softly.

I nod, I lift my hand to caress his cheek. "I'm perfectly fine, Roman."

He shakes his head, his gaze moving away from me and my touch. "I shouldn't have brought you here. I knew some shit like that would happen,"

I shrug. "So what? We both got out uninjured and that's all that matters." I swallow. "I was more scared for you. Watching you fight is not something I like to see,"

He seems even more closed off and guilty now. "That's exactly why I didn't want to tell you,"

"No, Roman, you misunderstood," I quickly go to clarify. I put my hand back to his cheek, turning his head to look at me. When our eyes meet again, concern and remorse very present in his expression. "I'm not scared of you, I'm scared for you. I love you and I'm not even sure I know the know extent of it but what I know is that I care for you so much that watching you risk yourself hurts me."

Tears well up in my eyes and he pulls me to sit on his lap. I lay my head in the crook of his neck but he pulls me to look up at him a second later, his thumb wiping the fallen tears on my cheeks.

Roman clears his throat before speaking. "I've never had the best life. But I wouldn't say it's been terrible either. I've done what I can to escape the things that might turn me the wrong way." He swallows, anxious to open up. "My mother was... a mother in her own way. As a young kid she was fine, but as I grew I began to recognize things. Things that none of my friends parents did.

"She told me my father died. Never really said why, but that he passed before I was born. I protected my mother for most of my life, trying to throw out alcohol, picking her up from bars, or wherever the hell she ended up."

My heart clenches for Roman, my tears falling for the boy who had to go through life on his own.

"I made do. I had friends, made a name for myself, and got into college, full ride actually," He smiles, I smile too, he never told me that. "When I finally told my mom that I was leaving and never looking back she told me everything. She thought it would make me stay, make me feel bad for her or some shit. Clearly it didn't."

His head hangs low now. "I found out my father worked at the school I applied and got into. It was almost like fate or some freaky stuff. My mom knew he worked there and frantically warned me against going. But I did anyways. Since I've met my father it's been... difficult." He says. "I got in to fighting shortly after, thinking it would be a way to make money at something I was good at, never imagining how wrong I was with my choice."