Chapter 1. F*ck Me With An Apple

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Have you ever watched the sun long enough, hoping you would go blind? Let the bright yellow enter your eyes and burn your soul to smoke

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Have you ever watched the sun long enough, hoping you would go blind? Let the bright yellow enter your eyes and burn your soul to smoke. Maybe that's why I loved the moon more than the sun and spent late nights reading on my balcony until the moon left me alone for the day.

"Hey, you ready to go, Scarlet?" my boyfriend's voice filled my ears.

I looked from my book, Soon I Will Be Invincible, over to him. Royce's red hair swept across his forehead, covering his reddish-brown eyes. The busy Seattle life echoed around me as I stood up from the old camping chair. I set my book on the glass table next to the dead plant. I wasn't sure why it was dying since Seattle rained like men were coming out of the sky as The Weather Girls danced with a group of hunks in trench coats and banana hammocks.

The lady from the apartment below me was on her balcony, talking on the phone. "No, Mom. You cannot date my high school boyfriend," she whispered, but I could still make out what she was saying.

"Because!" she yelled into her phone. "I don't care how sexy that man looks cleaning your pool. What is this? Some seventies porno you have been waiting for?"

I peeked between the wood panels to see the top of her. She paced back and forth with her hand pulling at her brown hair.

"No, I'm not moving back home so I could date my high school boyfriend, which-" she said, but Roy poked his head out the window, waving for me to enter my apartment.

"What do you mean, ready to go?" I asked, climbing through the window into the living room.

I glanced over at the long mirror I had behind the couch. I stood on average five-foot-two, and my thighs were too large to fit into skinny jeans. None other than the muffin man himself cooked the muffin top I had been sporting for the past years. My bland-blonde hair wasn't shiny like all the main characters from those romance werewolf books with too much explicit sex. What was the recovery time for those men? And to add to my unappealing list of why people would not fuck me, my face looked like one of those before pictures prior to taking a yoga class with some over-enthusiastic trainer with a boring name like Jennifer.

My attention went back to Roy as he walked up closer to me. "I have a surprise for you," he said, bopping my nose. "And we better leave now before the sun goes down."

Roy grabbed my arm, trying to yank me out the door, looking back in time to see my black cat watching us on the windowsill. His head tilted to the side as a quiet meow escaped his little fuzzy mouth. "Bye-bye, Duff," I said as Roy shut the door. Yes, I named my cat after the acronym designated ugly fat friend.

I am an inside person, so Roy pulling me out of my apartment for a surprise was not on my list of things to do today. Surprises aren't his thing. He was very generic when it came to dates and being together.

Roy drove us out of Seattle towards Mt Rainier. He was racing the sun, so he rushed over the speed limit. As we pulled up to a turnoff from the freeway, I finally turned down the radio, looking over at Roy.

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