Chlaughan

Thomas

CHIARA

Sunday, 11:11am

I dropped your hand while dancing. Left you out there standing. Crestfallen on the landing, champagne problems.

My speakers play Taylor Swift practically on full blast. It's a daily routine at this point. I sing along to the words until my mother yells for me to quiet down.

"Ugh," I mutter under my breath while lowering the volume. I'm still trying to distract myself from my dream last night. It shouldn't have gotten to me, but it was weird. My best friend's little brother trying to kiss me? Not ideal...right? It was just a dream. I continue listening to my music while picking up my messy room. I'm afraid of messy rooms, too. As I pick up a pile of clothes off the floor, I find a DVD of the movie Tarzan. I have no clue why that's in here. Everytime I watch Tarzan I imagine what would happen if I were to adopt a baby and a dog, and leave them to raise each other. Would the baby adopt the qualities of the dog? Would the dog eat the baby? So many questions left unanswered. I toss the DVD to the side and see a folded up piece of paper. Curious, I open it up which reveals a drawing that Vaughan made for me when he was little. It's a picture of a cat... or maybe it's a sewer rat... or maybe... I give up. He was such a cute little kid; a charmer, as most people call him. Now he's old and has abs of steel... err that's I'm assuming... umm I mean, that's what I've been told... Either way, I'm not complaining.

I finish cleaning up and I walk downstairs. I am instantly greeted with what seems to be like a hundred different smells. Mom must be cooking again. I venture into the kitchen, only to find the entirety of our counter space covered with different meals ranging from meatballs and sausages all the way to cupcakes and cake.

"Mom, what is going on?" I ask, reaching for a freshly baked cookie.

She swatts my hand, "I'm cooking."

"Well, yeah, I see that, but why so much food?" I wonder out loud.

"The Harrys are moving away, aren't they?"

I slowly nod, not sure where things are going.

"Then, I need to practice for their going away party, there needs to be something for everyone."

"Okay... but, I'm still confused, who said anything about a going away party? We still have a couple months." I reply.

"I mean, I just assumed-"

"Why would you assume anything, mom? There's no reason to rush into things."

"You're right,"my mom says with a laugh, looking down at the copious amounts of food she prepared, "What am I even going to do with all of this?"

"I say we have a feast. We can invite the Harry's so nothing goes to waste."

"I like the way you think." she winks, as she picks up some homemade Cheez Its. "Invite them over for tomorrow night."

"Sounds good." I say, turning around to head back upstairs. I leap to my bed and grab my phone, texting Ella. I invite her to dinner and tell her to invite her family. I'm excited to see Vaughan...wait, why was my first thought Vaughan? I'm excited to see Ella...right..Ella. Why do I keep thinking about Vaughan? Maybe I need to see a therapist to clear my head. No, that's unnecessary. What am I even thinking? Why would I see a therapist just because I thought about him a few times? Ugh, there's no reason for me to be this in my head about it...or is there a reason? He is quite cute, and funny, and he's fun to be around...WHAT THE HECK.

I practically leap down the stairs and race outside to Peggy. I check underneath my car for any ankle slashers...yes, it's a real thing. When none are to be found, I get inside and lock my doors; my breathing heavy, my heart pumping quickly. I look at the photo of Hank Green taped to the roof and smile. My breathing slows, thankfully. Hank always has my back. Thoughts race through my head. Where is this sudden attraction to my friend's little brother coming from? Why can't I stop thinking about him?

"UGH," I yell, my fist hitting the ceiling of my car. I glance at the volume dial on the dashboard and turn it to the right. Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo starts playing. I feel like I should drive somewhere right now, but I can't. I'm not in the mood to spend ten minutes staring at the gas pedal, being too scared to push down on it.

"WHY DO I HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF EVERYTHING?" I practically scream. Maybe I should invest in an electric scooter, those seem less scary. I take a risk and move my car forward a few yards to avoid my mom hearing my screams from inside the house. That wasn't so bad, I think. I decide to take another risk and drive down the street to the library. I'm not going to go inside, I never go in public alone. I am pulling into my parking space slowly. Inching forward, paying close attention to my mirrors when...

BAM

I flinch and face forward, forcefully. What happened? I get out of my car. Nothing seems to be wrong. I step to the back of the car and notice a bird lying there. I've just hit a bird. Oh my Bassett, I've just hit a bird. An actual bird. I just took away an innocent creature's life. Now I know what it feels like to be a cop. I mentally add this to my list of reasons why I am afraid of driving. I bend down to get a better look. Yeah...that's dead. I get back up and laugh. Dead birds are kind of funny to look at...WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING? DEAD BIRDS ARE NOT FUNNY TO LOOK AT. I quietly cry as I get back in my car and pull out of the parking space. I'm going home. I successfully made it through my entire drive home without thinking of Vaughan. Instead, I named the bird that I slaughtered. His name is Thomas. Yeah..I love that name.