Dangerous Secrets (Dangerous Series: Book 1)

Chapter 14 - Overwhelming desire

Stella was laying in her bed. She was shaken from the night's event and had troubles sleeping. She could still feel the gun against her head and Max's hand around her neck. When she closed her eyes she saw his dead eyes in front of her.

When the police arrived at Kian's house they wanted to talk to everyone about what had happened. Several people from the party had called them about a guy with a gun. If they would have arrived a few seconds later, Max would have shot Stella's knee. She wanted him behind bars, but Ben asked her to lie to the police, so she did. She said it was a random guy with a ski mask that tried to rob them.

She knew Max was mad because Ben kicked him out of the business. But there must be more to the story. She wanted to ask Ben about it, but she was afraid of the answer. After the incident Ben hadn't said a single word to her. He barely looked at her. It was as if he was mad at her.

Stella was turning back and forth in her bed. A thousand questions were itching inside of her. She needed answers. She got up from bed, put on her robe, made sure that Winston was sound asleep and sneaked to Ben's room. She knocked on the door.

"Is it you Stells?" Ben asked from inside the room. "Come in."

Stella entered the room. Ben was sitting in the armchair with a glass of whiskey in his hands. He was only wearing boxers. His eyes were empty and foggy. He still avoided looking at her. After all that had happened she couldn't believe that he still avoided he. It was painful.

"Can't sleep?" Stella asked.

"No..."

"Why don't you look at me?" Stella's voice crackled, but she couldn't keep it all inside her anymore. "Why have you been avoiding me? It breaks my heart. One second you make me feel on top of the world, and the next you push me down this dark abysse."

It looked like Ben was in pain. As if her words had cut him like a knife. He took a sip, put down his glass of whiskey and then looked straight at her. She got an urge to comfort him, but was nervous to go any closer. She wished she knew what he was thinking.

"I'm sorry," Ben said and got up from the armchair. He walked up to her and didn't stop until their bodies were only inches away from each other. He was inside her private sphere. "I'm just trying to do what is right. To protect you. That's what I'm suppose to do. I'm your older brother."

"I don't understand?"

"All I want to do is to be near you," Ben said and put a strain of hair behind her ear. She was trembling. "But I try to stay away."

"Why?"

The tension between them was electric. Does he feel the same as I do? They were so close to each other that they could feel each other's breaths on their lips.

"Because when I'm with you all I want to do is kiss you."

A lightning shot through Stella's body. Ben pressed Stella up against the wall and they kissed. It was intense, passionate and forbidden. They both knew it was wrong but they couldn't stop themselves. All of their yearning exploded in that kiss.

Ben lifted Stella. She tied her legs around his body while he carried her to the bed. He carefully laid her down, gently removed her robe and kissed her neck. Each touch felt amazing, but then, out of nowhere, she remembered Tristan.

"Stop," Stella forced herself to say.

Ben immediately did as he said.

"Is something wrong? I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to."

"I do, or I don't... Or... I don't know. My body wants to but not my brain. You have a girlfriend and I'm dating Tristan. We shouldn't."

"You're right." Ben laid down next to Stella. The fire between them was out. "I can't control myself when it comes to you. And tonight, when Max held the gun to you, my heart stopped. I was so afraid. If anything happened to you I would never forgive myself."

Stella cozied into Ben's arms. She could hear his heartbeat.

"Ben... What happened tonight and why? Is Max the guy you fired?"

He sighed and kissed her forhead.

"I'm so sorry that happened. I really tried to keep you away from it all, tried to keep you safe."

"Please tell me. After tonight, I have the right to know."

"Yeah, Max is the guy I fired."

"And the company... it's a facade?"

"Who told you?" Ben sounded surprised, almost mad again.

"No one. I looked it up online. The numbers just don't add up."

"Stella, are you sure you want to know? There is no going back if I tell you and I don't know if I can keep you safe. It's a dangerous secret."

The more Ben told her, the less she knew. His words made her nervous, but she couldn't stand not knowing. It felt like limbo. "I'm sure. Please let me in."

"The vitamins... They are drugs." Stella suspected that they might be drugs, but she didn't want to believe it. "It started quite innocent, but quickly got out of hand. Max introduced the pills to me and Kian at a party. They made us feel invincible, so we continued taking them. We thought they were great so we asked him if he wanted to join us and sell them on a bigger scale. He obviously said yes. He had the recipe for the pills and we had the resources to make it big. At first it was great. But then... Well, the pill is great if you take it once in a while, but you easily get addicted. If you start taking them too often you need more and more just to stay normal. And the detox is... it's awful. It didn't take long before Max got addicted. They are expensive so he started stealing from the company and threatened the staff, he completely lost control. We had to fire him, but after that everything got worse."

A thousand thoughts span around in Stella's head. It all made sense, but each answer created a new question. She hated drugs. She had seen it ruin so many lives in her old neighbourhood. At the same time she felt sorry for him.

"Why don't you stop?"

"I want to. Trust me I do. It's just gotten out of hand. We've tried stopping but people threatened to go to the police if we didn't keep supplying them."

"What about letting someone else take over?"

"I've thought about that as well, but now we try to keep the supply at a minimum. We only sell small amounts so that people won't become addicted. Of course people cooperate and trick the system, but at least we try."

"Can I do anything to help?"

"No Stells. Actually, you've already helped me a lot. It was so nice being with someone who didn't know this ugly side of me. It motivated me to continue fighting to get out of this."

Stella hugged him even more tightly.

"Is your office in the woods?" Ben nodded. "Can I see it?"

"No, I don't want you to know more than you have to."

"I want to see it. I can handle it."

"Okay. Tomorrow."

Stella didn't reckognize herself. She always followed the rules and did what was the right thing to do. There was no doubt that drugs and Ben's business was wrong. It ruined lives and probably destroyed families. She should report him to the police, but she could never do anything to hurt him.

She fell asleep in his arms. They were like two matching pieces of a puzzle, they were made for each other.