Noxious

5 | let you down

Rowan 

I walked downstairs. 

My mom lay sprawled out on the couch, snoring, with empty beer bottles littering the floor. She had kicked out the guy she slept with last night around four am. I had woken up to them screaming at each other and the slamming front door.

I guess I preferred it when things happened during the night because I didn't have to put up with the strange guy while she was passed out with a hangover until noon. It was always awkward because she never told them about me. She forgot she had a son sometimes. 

Suddenly, her phone began vibrating across the coffee table. I walked over and picked it up. Flashing across the screen was the number I knew as her workplace. I sighed, she was probably late for work again. 

I shook her shoulder. Her snoring abruptly stopped. "Mom, you have to go to work," I said. She didn't move. "Mom, get up," I said a little louder, "You have to work." 

She groaned, "I'm sick." 

"No, you're hungover," I said, "You can't call off, it will be the third time this week. You will get fired." 

"I don't care," She mumbled. 

"We need money, Mom," I insisted, "Please." 

"Leave me alone." 

I sighed and stepped back. It was always useless. No amount of convincing ever got her to do anything. I don't know why she thought we didn't need income. Maybe it was because she smooched off the random dudes she brought home. Her phone continued vibrating on the coffee table, I left it to annoy her.

I went into the kitchen. It had overflowing dishes piled around the sink and I found that ironic since there was barely any food in this place. Mom got lucky because whenever she brought a guy home every night because she somehow convinced him to buy her dinner. 

I was left to fend for myself. 

I noticed an envelope sitting on the edge of the counter where most of the mail went and in bright red letters, it had RENT OVERDUE stamped on it. I pulled open the fridge to find it empty and then I shut it. Even the fruit I had stolen from the supermarket was gone. 

I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my backpack, and headed out to catch the bus for school. I wasn't sure how much longer I could attend because my Mom hadn't paid the tuition for this year. The principal kept asking me about it and I never had an answer. 

I was going to be forced to drop out before eighteen. 

For a few minutes, I stood on the corner of the street in the rundown neighborhood we lived in, watching for the bus. I felt the need to burn something, to ease my anxiety, but I knew I wouldn't have time. It would have to wait until after school. 

When the bus finally arrived, I pulled my sweatshirt hood over my head and boarded. There was never a quiet moment on the bus and usually, I was the target for everyone to bully. It had been worse without Milo because he was the only one who stood up for me. 

I slumped into a seat and wished I could disappear. 

x 

I walked to the hospital. 

I knew exactly where Milo's room was and I didn't stop at the front desk to check-in. They were used to seeing me at this point and none of the staff that I passed in the hallway paid me any mind. I liked it that way, I liked blending in.