Noxious

23 | remember when

Rowan 

I was lost. 

I had no idea where we were and I wasn't sure what to do.

However, I never expected to be on the run. Not only from authorities if they identified me from the school fire but also whoever Kyle had pissed off in the city. I didn't really know what my life had come to. 

A dumpster fire would be an accurate description. 

Even as I stared at the ceiling of the motel room, I couldn't really make sense of anything in my head. It was like there was too much white noise, and it sent my mind haywire. I could only think about one thing. 

My phone was the last thing that held memories with Milo. 

I had lost all the pictures we had together. 

Milo had been my only friend since I had moved to that godforsaken city and now I had lost of all of it. I lost him, I lost the memories, I lost myself. I didn't feel okay, I felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest, and now I was running for my life. 

I could still remember when we first met. It had been so awkward. I was trying to figure out where the hell I was going because I didn't know any of the classrooms, let alone where my locker even was. Nobody wanted to give the new kid a tour. 

I had been in such a hurry, with my class schedule in front of my face, that I ran directly into Milo standing at his locker. 

He had hit his head on the corner of his open locker door and then we were both sitting on the hallway floor, staring at each other. He was rubbing his head and I was internally cursing myself for being so stupid. 

"Shit, that hurt," He had said, "Don't tell me you're blind?" 

"Uh no," I had answered, "I'm just new here." 

"I can see that, dork," Milo had rolled his eyes and stood up, offering me his hand, "I like you, what's your name?" 

"Rowan," I had replied. 

He smiled, "Milo Hatcher, nice to meet you." 

I flinched at the memory and peeled my eyes open to focus on the motel television as it droned on with weird movies and commercials. From that day on, Milo and I had become friends and when he found out I had pyromania, he wanted to join. 

That's how we ended up burning stuff after school every day. 

It was my therapy, in all reality. Even though my mom tried to ship me off with an actual therapist who didn't give a shit about me, and then we ran out of money anyway. I guess it was a win-win, I got to do what I wanted. 

Burn shit.

For some reason, though, I was struggling to accept the fact that I wasn't stuck in a horrible nightmare. I was convinced I would wake up because I was in denial that Milo had really died, even when I had seen it happen. 

I didn't know how much time had passed but when it started getting light outside from the sun on the rise, I realized I couldn't sleep. My mind was too much of a mess. I felt the urge to burn something and I sat up. 

I glanced to my right. Kyle and Tommy were asleep on the other bed. I glanced to my left and I saw Charly in the corner, on the floor. I hadn't even heard her come out of the bathroom, the last thing I remembered was her spending an eternity in the shower. 

I guess my head was a dangerous place to be stuck within. 

It didn't help that I needed to burn something to release my grief and anguish. I was even angry at the fact that life fucking sucked.