𝔹𝕚𝕘 𝕊𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕂𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕤 𝔹𝕖𝕤𝕥

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟 - ᴡʜʏ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀꜱᴋ ꜰᴏʀ ʜᴇʟᴘ?

When you woke, it was to a mild ache in your head, and the knowledge that your mind wasn't fully there. The walls were white, yes, and there were people in there- white coats, normal clothes- but it took a moment for your brain to catch up with your senses. 

You surprisingly couldn't remember much of what hospitals smelled like before reincarnating- transmigrating- possessing-whatever one wanted to call it. But it smelled clean, but in an overwhelming way; like if you sniffed a container of cleaning wipes. 

It only took a bit longer for you to focus on to the two boys in your hospital room. Tetta was leaning against Shinichiro in a chair near your bed. Your hospital room was fairly small, and you were probably just put in there in the likely case that you'd gotten a concussion and that you'd probably needed stitches. And, as the coffee table that had been slammed against you had been partially glass, some glass pieces might've injured you, too. 

Your brain was still a bit too muddled to put together many sentences, so all these observations were more like Concussion? Stitches? Ow. But you could see the red under Tetta's eyes, and the furrow of Shinichiro's brow, and it-

It scared you? Why- why did it scare you? That's not right; this had never scared you before, but-

Here you were, terrified of these implications. You knew Tetta worried for you, but just-

It was the knowledge that you might've messed everything up. That just maybe, you fucked up the plot, and your knowledge would disappear. How could you help Tetta if you didn't know when to save him-

You'd always been a martyr. Willing to sacrifice your life so easily. It came with the stress and constant subtle want to give your life away. You'd never strived for survival, despite enjoying living. 

It's what made you save your older sister. It's what made you endure those years of suffering under the pressure of being the "eldest", of being the most responsible, because being responsible meant being in pain. It's what led to you never doing all the things you wanted to do out of spite, like acting just like your sister, like being the younger sibling for once.

You made each sacrifice. Giving away a bit of yourself each time; your selfishness, your self-worth, your laughter, your freedom- you'd handed it all away, each time. You got a "respectable" job, so your siblings wouldn't have that pressure on them.

You shouldered that weight, and then you were crushed under it, and it was all you ever knew. 

You couldn't change that about you; that sacrificial part of you wouldn't disappear so easily. You had to be the one under pressure, in pain, not them, anybody but who you care about, because-

Because it was habit. Because it was normal. Because it was your responsibility, and you had always been a responsible person.

And here in the hospital, Shinichiro had saved you- was it out of a sense of responsibility, too? 

You didn't know, and it scared you. Your only "control" was your responsibility. Your sacrificing. The only chess piece you controlled was yourself, and you'd be willing to sacrifice your piece if it meant protecting the "King". 

Eventually, your fear had to stop as you soon dozed back out. Shinichiro must've said something to you, but you couldn't remember it to save your life.

--

By the time you were really awake, you were cleared from the hospital and had to pay no bills. What did scare you was the possible legal proceedings that you'd expected. However, none of such happened- was it because you were in a poor neighborhood?