WERE TOO YOUNG <3

" Chapitre 1 " : RIP to the old memories

R.I.P To the Old memories

* it was hard
Do you know what is it ! Letting go of the past specially the memories , that's the only think that make us known to each other's
They asked me how I felt
Behind the smile I shared when talking about it
Was a big black page . . .
The dark was the only thing I was able to see . Twisted and turned , looked here and there , to my left and to my right , thinking I can see the beach above my head and below , yet I could see nothing but darkness
Darkness shrouded me , it's thick cloud invading my vision and empowering my sight , turning everything colourless - black .

There was no escape . There was no way out . There was just black . Everything was black . There was noticeable power that shook my invisible surroundings. I had no clue where I was or with who I was standing with . Nor did I know the reason I felt that way sometimes the silence was the peaceful thing I had in that way , coming down no share no bless , nothing but a rock trying to manipulate you as a clown , my presence in that foreign place was unknown. A place with a boy who doesn't know why he's living .
I felt distrusting and petrifying when I was with him I heard a voice whispering laced with softness weaving it's way through the blackness before it reaches my ear .
So cold to react
So warm to keep listening

< you're safe with me >

I trusted the voice with full heart . Without knowing it , it sounded so unfamiliar. For some reason it seemed to trust reaching with a smooth voice , feeling a hot breath taking my ears , shutting my body with pleasure overtook me with silence and my fast paced beating heart . Choking me from my neck
"Why you still here"

Was it me or was it him (the fault)
I was afraid of change , when he first asked me I throw Ive founded the true love just by hearing some kind words and getting treated in a small ways .
It was a joke from the beginning but as a small girl who never had the experience of getting manipulated I screamed of happiness saying I founded the one for me ... i was better than that , I deserved better in every way . I loved to try again and again so when I leave I'd be happy for trying even though failing . Thinking you can heal the broken peaces by picking them up forgetting your hurtled fingers scrolling the blood .

You know that urge you get when you want to know something and suddenly out of nowhere the opportunity presents itself
I saw it when I discovered that he was cheating on me in my dreams I was happy because ( I knew damn well that my dreams represent reality ) .
It was hurtful but joyful at the same time .
A normal chilly Tuesday when I noticed him , walking with a fake smile . . .

I through that love is just a geste a word , maybe attention but it was too small to be described as love
We were too young to understand too immature to learn it .
Maybe you experienced crushing or liking someone but love was too damn away from that .
In that moment when It happened I choosed myself over everyone , I started my healing phase
Do you know what I've discover too

That I've never felt love or what does it feel like ! Cause it wasn't love it was just manipulation phase like a magical spell

Love is to big to Be descripted in that
Bad way ...