Shivers

Chapter 4

(Sign Of The Times By Harry Styles)

Punz's Pov

I leaned against my car as I waited for her to come out of her house. The cold air hit my skin but I didn't mind it. I would wait out here for hours to make sure she's okay.

The door opened and she walked out of her house slowly. She pulled her jacket, well, my jacket closer to her skin. She zipped up the hoodie and pulled the strings tighter on the hood.

Something was off about her. She smiled at me before getting into the car. I slipped my phone into my back pocket and opened the door and got into the driver's seat. She crossed her legs and looked out of the window.

I put my hand out and she grabbed it before fiddling with my bracelets. That was basically the only reason I wore them, so when she got panicky she could focus on something else. I turned the music up and she started humming.

I didn't know whether to address the elephant in the room, or to just let it slide. Do I let the fact that I know something is wrong control my thoughts, or do I let her tell me on her own time?

It wasn't awkward but the air felt suffocating almost. I pulled into a parking lot and parked before facing her. I couldn't take this anymore. The girl that has been controlling my mind and the way I acted for years, was not okay. And that killed me.

"Em?" I tried to get her attention and looked at her.

She didn't look at me, she didn't move. Her hand went limp on mine. I unbuckled my seat belt and turned all the way. I grabbed her hand and shook it lightly. She was zoned out. I grabbed his face lightly with my hand and made her face me. She let out a couple blinks before I dropped my hand.

"Emerald." I spoke calmly and she rubbed her eyes.

"What's wrong?" She asked and turned her head to face me.

"I should be asking you that." I said and she looked at me with a confused expression.

"Everything's fine. Don't worry." She mumbled, turning to face the window.

We were young and naive teenagers. We didn't know what love was. As much as we thought we did, we didn't. And I wish to god, i told her sooner, but i didn't. I get to live with the consequences, and I get to think about my actions over and over again.

My heart sank when she turned away. She was pushing me away, again. It was either something I did, or something that happened in our- her family. I ran my hand down my face, trying to calm my emotions.

One thing that I would never do, is lash out on her. Anyone but her. I hate everyone, except for her. Well, not hate, just strongly dislike. And I'm working on talking to more people, but I feel like all I need in my life is her.

She has a terrible habit of leaving things unsaid for the sake of everyone's piece. And I know she doesn't want to say anything now, because she thinks it will break our bond.

Nothing in this world can break our bond. Don't fall in love with someone who only sees you as a friend, trust me, it hurts.

"Em-" I tried and she turned around and looked everywhere except for me.

"Can you drop it?" She said, her voice flat.

Hearing her speak in such a tone was just so... heartbreaking? I grabbed her hand and she looked at me, finally. Sadness swarmed through her eyes.

"What's going on? I can't help you unless you tell me." I eased my words in and she shook her head.

"I hate being in the spotlight. Rich coming from a figure skater right? But I guess it's just because, when I'm in the spotlight, nobody is looking at me, they're looking at you. Or my brother. And it's selfish of me-" She said, her voice cracking, but i can tell she was more angry than sad.

"Em, it's not selfish at all." I reassured her and she shook her head.

"To me it's selfish. Every single day, no matter where I go, I always get a phone number to give to the hockey stars!" She exclaimed, the sarcasm dripping from her voice.

Emerald has anger issues. She has had them ever since her parents died. Sometimes she can control them better than other times, this time, she can't at all.

I can tell by the way she's not looking around. She's not trying to focus on something else. She is one hundred percent in this, right here, right now.

"Em-" I tried but she held up her hand, causing me to stop.

I didn't want to push her any further than she already was.

"I feel like I'm living in your shadow, Luke. And I hate it. I hate it so fucking much."

And then she finally broke. It wasn't the normal tears. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, and she wanted to disappear at this moment. I wanted to hug her, but I knew that would make it worse.

"Do you want to go home?" I asked softly and she nodded.

I didn't know what else to do. I've never experienced this kind of hurt before. She looked drained. She looked like she was sick and tired of this. I would be too. And it hurt me more because, any girl could come by, and ask me out, but my eyes will always only be on her.

I put my seat belt back on and reversed out of the parking lot. I turned up the music and gave her my hand so she could mess with my bracelets. Even if she was upset with me, I wouldn't stop doing the things I always do for her.

It's the little things like these that help her. I pulled into my driveway and she unbuckled her seat belt before sitting up.

"Night..." She whispered before getting out of the car and going inside.

Once she got inside, I pulled out of the driveway again, and took off down the street with music blaring.

1057 Words