|42| painful tears

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My darling,
You will never be unloved by me
You are too well tangled in my soul.

~unkown
_____________

                                       ~unkown                               _____________

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As I lay in bed I think about Vanessa, I crave her touch near my in the empty room,

But I know she doesn't want to move too fast and I'll respect the speed she's comfortable with,

But I guess I'm a crazy man because I can already see the potential of me going down on one knee, and spending the rest of our lives together.

I love her with my whole heart, I've never met someone like her nor have I allowed myself to let my heart grasp onto something I've desired my whole life,

Someone kind-hearted and full of love and life, of pure utter glow in happiness, it's what I see in Vanessa, within her sneaky smiles and warm words,

I even sleep with the damn matching frog we got together because it smells like her

She gave me her perfume about a month ago when she stole my Cologne, she said "now were even and we can smell like each other"

I remember her laughing and Spraying some of it on a hoodie so it smelled like me, her cheeky little grin made me immediately want to order twenty more so she'd never run out,

It was cute, and I sprayed some of it on her frog and the pillow next to me on the bed just so she'd smile at me,

But now I do it freely, just to feel her scent near, to imagine her warm body next to mine,

It Might be absurd but I feel crazy when it comes to her, I'd do anything for her,

I believed I would never smile again after losing my sister, I thought my life was permanently destroyed when I stepped into the bathroom that day and found my little sister on the floor Unconscious,

occasionally it feels like it was just yesterday

|flashback: eleven years ago |

I just got done hanging out with a couple of my friends, all we talk about now is college,

It's so near and I can't be more eager to finally be taking that next step in my life, done with the headache of high school,

Avery told me this morning that I'm going to do incredible in college, and it just made me more eager to prove her right,

To prove to every single person that I will succeed in life, and that all my hard work will be put into something that would forever transform my life.

My little sister is a breath of fresh air, she's so easygoing and sweet,

A lot of my friends hate their siblings but I'm pretty chill with my sixteen your old sister,

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