|51| she cant die.

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And I don't want to forget
How your voice sounds

~Unknown
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                                       ~Unknown                              ________________

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It's been a week...Christmas has passed, it's a new year, and another day without Vanessa.

I told my parents I was drowning in work so I couldn't go to their Christmas party, but in reality, it was because I'm a coward and I don't want to admit to my mom that the girl I love with my whole being has chosen to leave,

Its been a whole month without her, a whole month that I haven't been able to kiss her, hug her, show her that I love her, its been a week without her being my assistant, I feel too guilty hiring a new one so I do the work myself, and I never realized how much Vanessa did for me until I took on her job as well.

I never really realized how empty I felt before Vanessa...my heart breaks for my parents and how they had to see me like this for years after Avery died, I can't even explain the way your heart breaks and head spins when you find a loved one unconscious and not breathing, it's a feeling I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy, it's something that haunts you for a lifetime and never leaves, sure you might smile again and be happy, but you always have this memory of pure an under agony...the worst day of your life, and something like that never leaves you.

I clear my throat and get back to work, an envelope catches my eye like it has this whole week...its Vanessa's final paycheck, foolishly I've been putting it off because I don't want to send it off without seeing her because that paycheck gives me one last excuse to see her again, I know I can send someone to give it to her, or even send it by mail, but the truth is I just want to see her again...even if it's for a minute.

I take a deep breath and decide to stop chickening out and just go over to the building and give it to her, I grab the envelope and my coat and head out to my car, I ignore people calling my name because they're not important...my sunshine is,

Even though she's not mine anymore...

My hand goes over my heart, where the tattoo is, she doesn't know this, and she's never noticed but the tattoo has a small V hidden in the moon crevices, she's always on my heart, and my heart is always hers.

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When I get to the building she works in I walk up to the receptionist and ask where her office is located.

"Umm I'm sorry but I don't know who you are and I can't send random people to the boss's assistant's office," she says giving me a deathly glare

"I'm Aaron Huxley...you may know me or not, but I don't care you will tell me where her office is located, or else, I know the boss and I'm sure I can tell him something that will make him fire you" I spit out

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