Say My Name (bxb)

Chapter 16: "You're a Walking Paradox"

The last place I expected to end up was a carnival, but that's exactly where Davis took me on Saturday. My Canon was around my neck, poised to take shots in the golden hour, just before the place got too crowded. I asked Davis why he thought this was beautiful and he told me that when he was young, his dad always took him to the carnival. Every season it was there, and those were the only times he spent with his dad. The only times his dad was happy.

My heart broke for him, hearing that. But I also fell in love a little bit with that wistful expression on his face. I wanted to see more of it.

I hurried to use the light and aimed the camera at different things – the children's expressions, how happy and carefree, the parents' expressions, how anxious and vigilant, the rides going up and down and around with people screaming, the trusty cotton candy coloring everyone with a mist of rainbow colors and the balloons in various animal shapes.

All things I had forgotten about my childhood, really, but was now reminded of by Davis, who somehow knew what I'd needed better than I'd known myself.

Davis was just like this – like a breath of fresh air, a moment that you remember for a while, or a string of moments that make you happy. He was a present I wanted to keep unwrapping, even though that kind of thinking was not safe. It was dangerous.

After I was done shooting, I smiled at him. "Okay, now what?"

He smirked. "Now we have some fun."

Before we did, though, I returned the camera in the car, for safekeeping, and before I knew it, Davis was dragging me to the huge thing called the Mind-Grinder.

I looked at the death contraption nervously. "Maybe not this one."

"Is Jelly scared?"

"Stop that. What if it falls?"

"It's not gonna fall. Tons of people get on it and come out smiling. Look at those people."

"You mean, other than the ones who come out puking."

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, grandma, you wait here while I have all the fun."

"Fine," I muttered, looking at the death trap and hoping I survived it.

I not just survived it, but loved it. When we got strapped in, Davis joked that he could hold my hand, but really, when it came to full swing, it was every man for himself, and everyone was screaming like crazy. I found myself laughing, though, and when we came out of it, Davis shook a little on his legs, muttering that it really was a death trap, while I just laughed at him.

"I liked it." I shrugged.

He gave me an annoyed look and said nothing.

What I really wanted to do, though, was go on the Ferris wheel. Was that cheesy?

"So I'm guessing my plan to scare the shit out of you and be the one to take care of your poor, fluttery heart has gone to shit, huh?"

I laughed, walking down the lane of rides with him, our hands almost touching. "It's like the horror movie. I thought I'd be scared but then I wasn't. I guess I just don't scare easily."

He shook his head, smiling. "You are a walking paradox."

"How so?"

"Nothing scares you, nothing that scares normal people, that is, but when it comes to matters of the heart, you won't even dip a toe in."

I pursed my lips.

"Shit, sorry, you know what I mean."

"Mhmm."