The Dons Siren

Chapter Ten

Sofia

At this point in my life, I don't even know what to tell you other than the dooming fact that I was pathetic. I wasn't even working at this point. I was showing up and looking around for Matteo.

I danced while my eyes roamed the crowds. I laughed while my eyes looked out to see if I'd catch a glimpse of his dark hair or those silver bullets he had for eyes.

Eyes that pierced right through your armor, your skin, and straight through your heart. Eyes that have seen enough blood and violence to last a hundred lifetimes.

Eyes that I could still somehow feel on me where I went, yet no one was there when I turned around or looked up. I've never wanted a man or been attracted to a man in this capacity before in my entire life.

It wasn't magnetic; it was more potent than a push and pull of two magnets. It was consuming, stifling, suffocating, and overwhelming.

I could feel his presence around me wherever I went, smell the musty scent of smoke. I could feel his touches on my face, skin. I could feel his lips on mine like barely-there ghost touches that haunted my nights and dreams.

I could date anyone I wanted, have anyone I wanted, yet the only man I wanted was Matteo. It was pure animosity. I hated him for how he spoke to me and treated me, but I wanted his hatred.

I wanted every drop of hatred he had towards me because it was mine.

Mine.

Possessiveness was never in my dictionary. Yet here I was, constantly thinking about a man I knew deep down I couldn't have.

Matteo and I didn't belong together. There were too many obstacles in our way, too much-unresolved trauma that hadn't been addressed.

He was still in love with his wife, still mourning her, and he hated being around me because I made him forget.

It's not like it was my problem that I made him do anything, yet the way he looked at me, made me feel maybe it was my fault.

Matteo was a walking red flag and I needed to stay away and to stop looking for him in dark hallways and in empty VIP rooms.

The kiss we shared was nothing. A slip-up. A mistake. A mistake that I wanted to commit until the day my soul leaves my body and even then let me savor the darkest temptation known to man.

If kissing him would take me to hell, I wanted a one-way ticket there. Kissing Matteo was an odd combination of orgasmic and dangerous. It was wrong.

I knew it was wrong, especially since we hated each other. Unbearable hatred put aside, I wanted to drown in the messy chasm that was his precarious life.

Matteo was the darkness that most people hid from, he was the type of evil that lurked in dark alleys. He was the type of evil that took lives without blinking an eye and without the subconscious guilt weighing him down.

He was the monster that hid underneath the bed, a boogeyman in the closet that little kids were scared of.

The thing is I wasn't scared. Matteo wasn't scary to me. If anything, his intimidation and darkness gave me a thrill that sent shivers up and down my spine and made every inch of my skin tingle, warm, sensitive.

I could feel his touch at night when I was alone on my bed. I felt him when I closed my eyes. Phantom touches aggressively gripping me, touching me, kissing me, fucking me. And every time I woke up in a pool of sweat and was filled with hot, bothered frustration.

Usually, the easiest way to get over a guy is to get under him, but with how Matteo was pushing and pulling away from me; that wasn't possible. I haven't seen Matteo since our kiss anyways.