The Dons Siren

Chapter Thirty-Five

Sofia

He dreamt of her last night. I didn't know the contents of the dream. Just that he was calling out for her. The tormented sound of Matteo calling out for her was enough to stifle my heart.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't tell him I heard. I pretended that I was still sleeping, but I heard him. I heard him, and now I couldn't stop fucking hearing him.

I knew he thought about her sometimes, and I told myself that it was okay, that he was grieving. Grief was okay, but dreaming of her at night was his subconscious way of remembering her or reminding him of her.

It wasn't a competition. I couldn't compete with Isabella if I tried. She was his first love, his wife, the woman he laid with for ten years, and the one he was still mourning a year later.

Isabella was a memory, a ghost of a tortured memory, and how was I supposed to compete with a memory?

Even when he held me in his arms at night, I had to pretend that I was sleeping. I had to hold in my cries, sobs, and pain until the following morning when he left for work.

He kissed my cheek and mumbled a goodbye before he left the bedroom. Only then did I allow myself to cry. I cried the entire morning, body shaking, sobs and hiccups, snot and all.

The thing was, I couldn't blame him for the dream he had. I couldn't blame him for thinking about her. I told him once that I didn't want to erase her out of his memory and that I understood where he was coming from.

I told him I would never push him for anything and that he didn't need to tell me those three little words.

That I felt his love for me through his actions. I had to constantly remind myself that Matteo took care of me and showed me his affection in other ways, which was sustainable.

That I shouldn't push a man like Matteo. I wasn't scared of Matteo, but I was scared of what would happen if I were to push Matteo right off the cliff edge.

Yet...how long was I supposed to be like this for? How long was I supposed to deal with all the pain and suffering Matteo still held inside his heart?

I wanted it. I wanted his heart to be mine. I wanted to own it like he owned mine. If he wasn't going to give it to me on his own accord, I would demand it from him. It was mine. I owned it.

His love, his heart, his very fucking soul belonged to me. He had told me that he would be mine like I was his, yet he has offered me nothing.

Just little breadcrumbs here and there that he tossed behind his back while I scrambled to pick up every single crumb. I wanted the whole fucking loaf. I wanted every iota that belonged to Matteo, and I wanted it now.

I got off the bed and went to shower before getting ready. After getting dressed, I walked down the stairs to see Felix standing in the foyer, speaking on the phone. I waited for him to finish his phone call, and he did quickly, shoving his phone into his pocket.

"Signora."

"Can you take me somewhere?"

"Of course. Does Signor D'Angelo know that you're leaving the house?"

"Yes, he does." I lied.

Felix nodded his head before opening the front door for me. I walked outside and made my way to one of the cars. Felix opened it for me, and I slid inside it.

"Where to, Signora?"

"Take me to the cemetery where Isabella was buried in."

His eyes went wide, and I saw him struggle with the car keys as he stared at me. "Maybe I should call-"