Because You Are Love (Karlnap)

Chapter 13 - It reads our thoughts

Cicadas singing through the night, the smell of recent rain and fresh flowers in the air, a clear night sky that showed all the colors of the milky way. Cold hands shifting over each other, the blanket laying loosely across their laps, each boy with lidded eyes and soft smiles.

"How are you going to say we need to go to bed and then lay on top of me?" Sapnap said in a quiet taunt.

"You're warm." Karl mumbled, his lips unintentionally grazing against the skin on Sapnap's neck.

The goosebumps that raised across Sapnap's skin were hardly from the breeze. He adjusted his grip around Karl, using one hand to pull Karl's other leg across his lap. Karl let out a laugh under his breath, not resisting the embrace in the slightest.

"I'm guessing the guest rooms are taken. Do you want to stay in my room and I'll take the couch?" Sapnap said after a moment of enjoying Karl wrapped around him.

"It's your house, I can take the couch." Karl said through a yawn. "Or we could just both stay in your room." Karl finished, bringing one hand up to rub his eye.

This wasn't anything new, they had shared a bed countless times. Sapnap just felt so torn. He was sure that Marisol or any of his younger cousins would barge into his room at the crack of dawn, eager to spend time with them. Assuming tonight would be like any other time they've fallen asleep together, the kids would surely walk in to see them being completely enmeshed with one another.

"You head in and take my room, I have to get my stuff out of the car." Sapnap whispered, making no attempt to encourage Karl out of his lap. Sapnap was still using his feet to rock the swing slowly.

"I don't know which room is yours." Karl spoke through another yawn, clearly getting closer to sleep. If they didn't start moving soon, Sapnap would end up carrying Karl and  his suitcase inside.

"Let me grab my bags and then I'll show you up to it." Sapnap said quietly, kissing the top of Karl's head so gently, he was positive he wouldn't be caught.

Karl began to stir in his lap, begrudgingly pulling his feet back to the ground. Sapnap released his grip around Karl's waist, allowing him to sit up. Just as Sapnap expected, he was certain by the small smile Karl gave him that he surely didn't notice the kiss he stole.

Hushed whispers and tipping toeing through the house. Sapnap led the way, pulling Karl along with intertwined fingers. Creaks of floorboards and his suitcase bumping into corners caused laughter in both of them, resulting in each trying to make the other be quiet.

At the top of the staircase there was a hallway lined with rooms. Sapnap tugged on Karl's hand when he slowed down, continuing to guide him in the right direction. At the end of the hall there was another door, which led to a much smaller staircase.

"I didn't even know this exist-"

"Shhh." Sapnap interrupted, pointing to the hallway lined with doors, each one opened a crack, with his family sleeping inside.

The two ascended a much smaller staircase, which led to a single door. Sapnap opened the door slowly, each creak of the expanded wood causing laughter to escape them both.

Something in Sapnap's heart felt awakened by this experience. It was like he was the younger version of himself that never got to experience the thrill of sneaking a boy you like through the halls of your house, praying you don't wake anyone. Sapnap felt like he was finally getting to create the memories he missed out on.

"Well, this is it. Ta-da." Sapnap whispered sarcastically, guiding Karl in the direction of the bed. Karl shuffled his feet across the hard wood floors, still holding loosely onto Sapnap's hand. Karl fell back onto the bed with a ceremonious thud, his arms stretched out on both sides.

"I'm disappointed the Spiderman sheets aren't on." Karl squinted one eye open, a smile growing on his face when he heard Sapnap's audible scoff.

"I had those when I was like, ten." Sapnap said with an eyeroll, hesitantly accepting the hand that Karl had held in the air. Just as he thought, Karl tried pulling him towards the bed. "I'm gonna sleep downstairs." Sapnap forced himself to say. The small piece of himself that felt liberated by this experience suddenly felt like the same scared kid in the closet all over again.

"You're joking." Karl was practically pouting, his eyes were nearly shut, the blue barely visible through his lashes. Sapnap knew he said he wouldn't stay, but the loose grip Karl had on his fingers was pulling him down like an anchor.

Without even thinking, Sapnap stepped forward, placing his knee on the mattress between Karl's legs. Karl seemed completely unbothered by his advancement, if anything a hint of a smile was on his features.

With Sapnap being closer now, Karl held on tighter to his hand. One step, one lean, one second of his rationality escaping him and Sapnap could be fully laid atop Karl. Sapnap was all too aware of what his body was doing while on autopilot, the feeling being eerily similar to when they were on the porch and he found himself leaning in to kiss Karl.

Once Sapnap noticed himself shifting his weight onto the knee that was on the bed, it was like he was brought back to reality. The reality that he was one misstep from ruining his friendship with Karl. One misstep from outing himself. One misstep from making the most impulsive decision of his life.

Sapnap was already halfway leaned over Karl, making his next move crucial if he was going to get out of this without too much confusion. He leaned to the side, grabbing a fistful of the comforter and dragging it over Karl as he stood back up. Their hands slipping apart as he pulled away felt like a sad reminder of the reality behind the scene.

"You're such an idiot." Karl complained in a muffled groan into the blanket, lazily wrapping himself up in the duvet Sapnap had covered him with.

"Yeah, maybe I am." Sapnap said, more so to himself than to Karl. He backed away from the bed slowly, part of him still debating on crawling in. He ultimately decided against it, pulling the door closed behind him with a small metallic click.

He made the same walk through the house, just with much less fun this time. The house was exactly the same as when they entered, but it felt so much different now. Sapnap finally wandered into the living room, pushing the piles of stuffed animals and stray toys off the couch.

Sapnap groaned as soon as he laid down, pulling out a toy he must've missed from underneath him.

"Yeah. I'm definitely an idiot." He sighed, adjusting a frumpy pillow beneath his neck.

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(1,171 words) boo sapnap get in the bed