The Greatest Prank

Chapter 2

"I find it interesting that out of the entire student body the only one who recognized me on sight was the same one who asked me to come in the first place. And that you apparently aren't as whiny as Cale was," said Richard.

"If I have to deal with a delusional headmaster who thinks love can kill a man known for slinging death curses like they're going out of style and who's minions are known to rape, torture and murder, then I would rather have one professor who at least won't make it personal if he accidentally kills me. That being said, can I suggest targets for your next class?" asked Harry.

"Continue to amuse me and I'll show you how to lob fireballs at those who annoy you too much," said Richard. Harry really was the only person who amused him in the school.

He was the boy hero type, but apparently one who had a blasé attitude towards living. He could honestly care less what Richard did so long as it didn't impact him personally or harm anyone he actually cared about. That being said, he did pay lip service to at least trying to keep Richard on a leash.

Harry perked up at that.

"You promise? Because with how much grease Snape has in his hair I'm sure he'd go up splendidly!"

Richard chuckled darkly.

"He does, by the way. And may I said it is a genuine pleasure to encourage a budding pyromaniac such as yourself?"

Harry grinned. Hermione would be horrified to learn Harry was in fact a closet pyromaniac (he blamed the same comics he had Richard sign as the start of that fixation...and the complete disregard his 'family' gave him for his inability to understand that hurting others was a bad thing), but frankly he could care less.

"Question... do those fireballs show up on the Ministry's radar?"

Richard snorted openly.

"Those posers rarely track anything without a wand. So long as you don't do it openly until you're powerful enough to tell them where to stuff their stupid sticks, they generally won't know. Unless some idiot placed a magic ward around your house specifically..."

Harry considered that.

"Can they track house elf magic?"

"Generally, no. Even if the annoying creatures can mimic magical signatures, it would take something major to attract attention."

Harry scowled. He didn't think a simple levitation charm qualified as something major. Which meant there was a detection ward around his house.

"Still, I never thought teaching could be this much fun!"

Harry snorted. It was a testimony to Richard's "teaching style", which was more along the lines of study the older forms of defense magic or get charbroiled, that the students actually bothered to crack the older books in the library.

Hermione in particular seemed to have trouble with the practical aspect of that, and tended to try and appease the teacher with longer essays instead.

Since Harry was usually the one doing all the grading, that meant he was usually partnered up with the increasingly frazzled witch in an attempt to keep her grades at the top of the class.

Which was ridiculous because the only one who had an above-perfect grade in Defense was Harry. Even if he didn't have to do any of the homework, just survive Richard's boredom.

On the plus side, with the way things were going it was very likely that this year's Defense OWLs and NEWTs would end up having the highest scores ever recorded.

"There's one thing I don't get though. If you really have a penchant for eating small children and infants who can't defend themselves, then do you have a specific type of small defenseless creature or is it a certain race?"