28 - James | Maybe we'd be vampires in another existence

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'James! We've killed her!' Andrew yelled in anguish, dropping to his knees in front of the fallen angel. He cradled her small, unmoving body in his arms, tilting her still face this way and that.

'She's not dead, we've just... drugged her,' I mumbled, shocked out of my core. Why would she eat those? She ate the whole tray!

'How is that any better, James? How!'

'I'm sure it's um, just a little bit better.' I knelt opposite him, peering anxiously into the angel's face. Her eyes were slits, barely able to open. I stroked the hair back from her face and she let out a groan, mumbling incoherently. Several wouldn't have affected her at all, like it would a human, but to eat this many... is another matter entirely. 'Maybe we should move her to the couch and give her some water?'

'This is all my fault,' Andrew whispered, staring at me with enormous eyes, 'If I hadn't insisted- I never imagined... and now she's unknowingly eaten the whole tray!'

'She's probably mostly sick from eating the whole tray,' I pointed out, 'And you had no idea she was coming today—you specifically asked her not to.' I looked down to glare at the trouble-causing angel. I'm certain she knew what was in those, the scent of addiction was unmistakable to inhuman beings.

I grabbed the angel around the waist and Andrew hoisted her legs, trying to lift her. Marie's eyes flew open and she grabbed on to the legs of the kitchen stool.

'Demon! Aaah!' she yelled, 'Run for your lives!' She wrapped her arms and both her legs around the stool, hanging on for dear life.

Crapping hell.

'It's okay,' Andrew soothed, 'There's no demon here.'

'James demon! Evil!'

Andrew laughed. 'No he's not, come on.' He tried unsuccessfully to yank her off the chair.

Sighing, I dropping her arms. 'Let's just leave her on the floor.'

'James!' Andrew exclaimed, 'We can't do that!'

Marie finally loosened her grip and he scooped her up in his arms, carrying her to the living room couch. She immediately snatched a cushion and buried her face in it, opening her mouth and digging her teeth in.

'What are you doing?' Andrew asked, shock written all over his face.

'Andrewwww...' she said, 'I bet we were all vampires in another life! I'm sinking my FANGS into your yummy cushion!'

'Don't! You'll tear it!' Andrew gripped an end of the cushion and tried to rip it away from her. 'James, what have we DONE?'

'You can't really blame it on the weed,' I grumbled, 'This is just her natural weirdness being heightened.'

'I'm a vampire!' she yelled, 'I'm a crime-fighting pasta!'

'A fanged pasta?' Andrew inquired.

Why was he encouraging her?

Marie paused to think for a long moment. 'No, but imagine if spaghetti could play the piano,' she insisted, her train of thought moving on from vampiric activities, 'It's flexible enough that it can bend and hit two notes at once. For the chords you'll need an entire plate of spaghetti, of course, because there are lots of keys to hit. Imagine how cool it would be!' She waved her arms in the air, trying to act out how the pasta would move. 'The spaghetti is twisting and turning and dancing in a lovely pattern and hitting all the right notes—imagine how pretty it would look!'

I momentarily wondered whether Danyel had laced the marijuana with LSD. I wouldn't put it past him.

Marie's arms fell to her sides, seemingly tired from the exertion. 'There's something in my nose,' she moaned, sticking her finger in there, 'There's a huge snot that I just can't get out.'

I looked on in disgust as Andrew carefully bent and peered up her nostrils. 'You don't have to do that, she's fine,' I muttered.

'But she might have breathing difficulties,' he replied worriedly, 'We should help her take it out.'

'I am doing no such thing.'

'No one asked you, James,' Marie wailed, 'Andrew wants to help meee... I've picked out SO many of his snots and we would do anything for each other.'

'Just take your finger out first,' he suggested, prying it away gently, 'Let me see....'

I sighed and rolled my eyes upwards, not wanting to witness this horrible moment.

'Oh, actually,' Marie started, 'The thing in my nose disappeared once you took my finger out.'

Andrew paused his excavation. 'Was the thing your finger, Marie?'

'Hmmmm.' She put it back in to check. 'Yes.'

'There we go then.' Andrew patted her on the head comfortingly. 'Let us take it out now and you'll feel much better.'

I sighed again, dropping my head in my hands. When I first saw the angel bursting into the house, I was actually pleased to see her—although she was someone whose consistent blabbering was actually very annoying.

I'd had no idea what to do with the questionable brownies, whether to toss them out or go ahead with Danyel's plan. Then, luckily for me, the angel had shown up and taken the decision out of my hands. I knew she would get rid of them somehow.

But, I never imagined she would get rid of them by EATING them.

Could she really not think of any better way?

_________
A/n: this whole finger feeling like snot thing was a personal experience

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