Hell's Angel (EDITING)

32 - James | Cardboard wings

'Ow,' I grumbled, rubbing at my stinging knuckles.

Andrew looked shocked as I pulled my hand away from shielding his face. 'You were aiming right at my nose!' he accused the Hell-Angel.

She snickered evilly. 'I bet it would've turned red like a tomato.'

The angel is obviously just a second demon, wearing cardboard wings and a taped-on halo.

As the thought crossed my mind, I was reminded of the time I had tried to play dress-up when I was a kid. I'd painstakingly glued together bits of cardboard and shiny wrappers, decorating it with smashed glass bottles to make it sparkle. Danyel had ripped it to shreds when he found it—and disciplined me rigorously. I'd spent every day after that trying to prove my loyalty to him.

'That's really bad, Marienne,' I strictly told her, pushing the painful memory away, 'The next time you get a mischievous impulse, at least try to resist it. You must discipline yourself.'

She pouted, pulling a face. 'You sound just like Headmistress. Ugh, James, ugh.'

'You mean the principal?' Andrew asked.

'Uh. Yeah.' Marie paused for a moment before going back to the topic at hand. 'But you would have enjoyed having a tomato nose, wouldn't you Andrew?'

'No Marie, why would I enjoy that?' Andrew sounded serious but he looked like he was trying really hard not to laugh.

I shot them both a disapproving look before turning my attention back to the ongoing lesson. Andrew's indulgence of her serves only to encourage her bad behaviour. I could still hear hell-angel's voice buzzing on like a nattering mosquito.

'You will enjoy it because....' Marie paused, thinking for a moment. 'Because you really love eating tomatoes, and, every time you look down you can see your own nose. And, actually, did you ever realize that? It really bothered me when I did. I just look down and there's NOSE there; once you see it you can't stop seeing it. It blocks your entire vision.'

'Maybe your nose blocks your entire vision,' Andrew replied, his voice soft but serious, 'Mine is not that big.'

Marie's mouth opened and closed several times in shock as she tried to think of a good comeback. I couldn't help chuckling at her expression; Andrew certainly didn't have any issues with holding his own.

'That's not the point,' she finally said, pouting petulantly, 'I just got sidetracked—anyway, it's pleasing because you can look down at your tomato nose whenever you want and it'll make you hungry.'

'What's so pleasing about being hungry all the time?'

'Because then you can eat!'

'But what if I'm trying to sleep? When I'm closing my eyes I would see my nose, and then I'd get hungry and then I can't sleep.'

'It'll be dark when you're going to sleep,' Marie explained patiently, 'You won't be able to see your nose.'

'Some people even sleep at 5pm,' Andrew pointed out.

'Yeah. OLD people!' Marie spread her arms out wide to demonstrate just how old he was. 'Hey Andrew, isn't your birthday coming up, by the way?'

It was not. It was on the 12th of May.

'Not really, it's like three months from now,' Andrew replied, 'And I'm only turning seventeen!'

'I'm so much older than you,' Marie boasted, 'I turned seventeen just before I moved here.'

Well, so had I; it wasn't a great deal older.

'Anyway, what do you want for your birthday?' Marie asked excitedly, 'A fire breathing dragon? That's what I've always wanted.'

Hm. That explains why she keeps trying to irritate me till I start exhaling smoke.

'What are you getting him, James?' she demanded, dragging me into the conversation I was trying to ignore.

'You don't have to get me anything, either of you,' Andrew pointed out, 'It's not till May anyway.'

'Utter nonsense!' Marie yelled, waving her arms around, 'We must fulfill your every need!'

'I don't really need anything,' Andrew said, laughing at her antics.

'James!'

I shrugged, thinking what he might require. 'Maybe a laundry basket,' I suggested after some consideration.

'That is like the worst gift ever, James.' Marie looked at me in contempt, shaking her head ever so slightly.

Andrew blinked, a myriad of expressions passing over his face. It came to rest on mildly offended.

Well, how was I to know what birthday gifts are supposed to consist of? We hadn't really celebrated them in hell.

'Another cat?' I suggested, tossing out a random idea that I hoped wouldn't stick.

Andrew beamed and I sighed. The last thing The Void needed was another kitten to join in the quest of biting me.