Merciless

|20. Goodbye |

Unedited!!

13/11/2022

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I was panicking. The world felt like it was turned upside down.

I ran to the car along with my uncle .

They all followed me to the car and he started driving in full speed.

My breathing was getting heavier by every single breath I was taking.

Ya Allah please sae him I will do anything please don't take him away from me .

I wanted to cry and let it all out but not one single tear escaped my eyes.

I was too shocked to cry.

We finally reached the hospital and I ran to the receptionist.

"Dominico Salvatore Syed p-please." I panted.

She gave me a sad look and showed me the way to the room .

I got to the room and my heart was beating like crazy.

I stopped and froze on my spot seeing baba's state.

I put my hand on my mouth from the shock.

I slowly walked to him and he looked like a mess .

He looked older than ever.

His hair fell out and I almost didn't recognise him .

His eyes barely looked alive but they held emotion for the first time .

He looked so fragile and weak that it broke me .

"Baba..." I whispered going next to him.

"M-my daughter." He put his hand on my head for the first time ever.

And that gesture was enough for me to breakdown.

Tears streamed down my eyes .

"Ba-b-baa." I sobbed trying to catch my breath but I was suffocated.

"Shh don't cry it's okay, I'm going to a better place my Silya." He caressed my cheeks and I took his hands in mine kissing them .

"No baba it's too soon please don't leave me alone . Not yet baba." I cried begging him as if he could control this.

He smiled at me .

The most beautiful smile ever .

"I am so sorry my daughter . I didn't show you my love , I thought that it made me weak . I was scared to lose you like I lost your mother. I hated every single day without her that I didn't realise that you are Allah's greatest gift to me . But when I realized it was already too late . I'm not leaving you alone . You have a great family who looked after you when I was a coward . You're husband is a great man and will take care of you I am sure of that . "

I shook my head.

"Baba no. D-don't l-l-leave m-me yet-t." I sobbed again.

My tears and breathing became uncontrollable.

"I'm tired of this world my daughter. This cruel world gave me nothing. I just want to go see my Ilan . I just want to rest ." He stuttered.

His breathing started to slow down .

The beeping sound of the machine connected to his heartbeat accelerated.

"Baba noo please don't go you didn't love me yet . You didn't love me enough please don't."

I hugged him suffocating him without knowing.

I felt Asad behind me pulling me away from baba.

"I h-have al-l-ways l-loved you my daughter and al-lways-s will."

"Baba noo." I shook my head in denial.

He looked away from me and stared at Asad .

"Take care of the only piece of me that I am leaving in this world."

Asad nodded at him.

Why is everyone calm??!!

Why am I the only one panicking?

Am I the crazy one here?

He looked from Asad to uncle Haider .

"Brother..." tears streamed down from his eyes.

"Yes brother." Uncle haider cried with him and held his hand.

"It's time bro." He smiled at him .

"I know." Uncle haider looked down crying like a baby.

"I will see you on the otherside inshallah." Baba whispered his eyes getting lifeless by each passing second.

"Brother in law pass Ilan my greetings." Mama Ines cried and he smiled at her .

"I will inshallah." He smiled and looked back at me .

"T-take care my daughter. I-I l-love you so m-much."

The beeping sound on the heartbeat machine stopped indicating that his jeart stopped .

Indicating that Allah has taken his life.

I saw baba smile above him and said his shahada.

After a few seconds his eyes have become lifeless.

My stomach hurt so bad .

I ran to the bathroom and started puking and crying.

When I finished I washed my face , went to the mosque in the hospital and prayed to Allah to give me Sabr and to have mercy on baba's soul.

I cried my heart out and it didn't feel heavy anymore .

Asad walked in and I made eyecontact with him.

His gaze was so soft and held so much emotion.

I didn't want to cry again so I looked away from him.

He engulfed me in a hug and I hugged him back with so much need .

I needed this hug so much.

I needed him now more than anything.

"I will protect you always my baby don't you worry." He whispered and kissed my forehead.

I felt safe in his hold.

My heart felt lighter .

I pulled back .

"Thank you ."

"Let's go get Naeila and go home you need to rest ."

I nodded at him .

We went and I kissed baba's head for the last time thanking god that he will finally rest and have peace.

I hugged Ilan and mama Ines.

They offered me to go sleep at their home but I said it will be better for me to go home with my husband and Naeila.

We finally reahed home and were getting ready for bed .

I wanted to sleep so bad to forget about the pain of baba's loss.

Thank god I had Asad with me who comforted me.

I got in bed and he followed me .

Before I could fall in sleep he hugged me and played with my hair massaging my scalp making my tensed body relax.

"How are you feeling now?" He asked.

"Better Alhamdulilaah." I honestly answered him.

"It hurts but less."  I continued.

"You will feel better when I will take you on a nice vocation to clear your mind . Does that sound good to you?" He proposed.

"It's perfect I really need that." I whispered in need of rest .

"Anything for you my Zina." He kissed my head and continued playing with my hair until I fell asleep.